Smooth Jazz Countdown n. (\ˈjaz\ \ˈsmüth\ /ˈkoun(t)doun/)
- an act of counting numerals in reverse order to zero
The Smooth Jazz Countdown is a list of songs seen in the Evolving Item Reports of 2008.
The countdown was hosted by Evil Timmy aka. T-Bone, when he and Labtech Gene practically took over the show. Each week they would give the viewers a music countdown of smooth jazz that they liked and practically worshiped. Dr. Singh, however, was clearly not liking this and even held herself back from protesting as it went on. There were a total of twenty-one songs listed and sixteen artists mentioned nearing the end of September 2008.
- Announcement Evolving Item Report: Death Whisper, Inari's Beads, Furugasa - [NPC] Dr. Singh Thu Jul 31, 2008 10:30 pm
- 5 "Whale Memories, Pt. II" by. Chocolate Cake Supreme
It is described as a laid-back song.
- 4 "Teatime For Ya Butt" by. The Hugo Rodney Combo
It is considered their smash-hit sax track.
- 3 "Allow Me to Touch That" by. Raoul Champagne
This song makes his top-five debut.
- 2 "I Fell Asleep in the Pool" by. The Titi Muscatachiollaire Orchestra
It is a song that lays it on heavy with the clarinets.
- 1 "Take My Hand, Baby, and I Will Lead You to a Place" by. Cassius LaFontaine
It is an ultra-mellow instrumental
- Announcement Evolving Item Report: Dionaesil, Alruna's Rose, Urn & More - [NPC] Dr. Singh Mon Aug 11, 2008 10:41 pm
- 5 "Blowin' in a Thing" by. Kenny F
It is a hot new soprano sax track.
- 4 "Sensual Botox" by. Wes Butan Trio
The group is described as a true guru of smooth jazz.
- 3 "Naugahyde Nights" by. Luther Ramses
It is a slow, smooth, chilled-out groove.
- 2 "Take My Hand, Baby, and I Will Lead You to a Place" by. Cassius LaFontaine
It is an ultra-mellow instrumental. Dropped to the number two spot! Pretty stunning upset, isn't it, baby?
- 1 Was not made available.
- Announcement Evolving Item Report: New item: Gimpi! - [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:30 pm
- 5 "Dolphin Healing Crystal Jam" by. Galileo Braingrass
It is a new entry to the chart with his ultrasmooth new-age relaxation cut.
- 4 "Pants Alarm Deployed" by. Barry Duke-Wayne
It is a sultry new single by a smooth jazz legend.
- 3 "Felt a Thing Happen (Ooh Yeah Baby Ouch)" by. Raoul Champagne
It is described as a sassy oboe blockbuster.
- 2 "Feather Earhole Touch" by. Cassius LaFontaine
It is described as a mellow song.
- 1 "The Hillbilly Handshake!" by. Royce Breeze
It is a seductive new slow-jam. Royce was able to get a 1980s-era electric piano to sound like a banjo.
- Announcement Evolving Item Report: Furugasa & Alruna's Rose... Complete! - [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Aug 22, 2008 2:48 pm
- 5 "Plains of Euphoria" by. Ken Bland ft Omar Sexton
A song with a drowsy piano playing magic featuring a sizzling slap-bass interlude.
- 4 "Dreamchant Elfcrap" by. Enga
A song by a new-age songstress who dabbles in the tepid smooth jazz bathtub with this crossover hit.
- 3 "The Hillbilly Handshake!" by. Royce Breeze
It is a seductive new slow-jam. Royce was able to get a 1980s-era electric piano to sound like a banjo. At number three could this piano hoedown be a mere flash in the pan for the legendary artiste?
- 2 "Felt a Thing Happen (Ooh Yeah Baby Ouch)" by. Raoul Champagne
It is described as a sassy oboe blockbuster. Moved up from the number three spot to claim this week's silver medal with the seductive oboe interplay.
- 1 "Sensual Experimentation in Love Jail" by. Cassius LaFontaine
Another single by the smooth jazz superstar that gets the airwaves boiling.
- Announcement Evolving Item Report: Gimpi, Coocoon, Urn, Book, Yama - [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Sep 05, 2008 12:51 pm
- 5 "Federal Sax Return" by. Kenny F
A hot new instrumental.
- 4 "The Sax of Life" by. Toots Calypso
It is described as a sweet sounding.
- 3 "Anglo-Saxin'" by. Oswald Whitebread
It is a brand new single.
- 2 "Saxidermy (Wanna Stuff That)" by. Wes Butan Trio
It is described as an instant classic.
- 1 "I Wanna Sax U Up" by. Titi Muscataciollaire Orchestra
A single that reaches the highest stratospheres of smoothness with this down-by-the-fire masterpiece.
- Announcement EI Report: Forteanagoria & Anesidora's Woe - [NPC] Evil Timmy Fri Nov 05, 2010 4:30 pm
- 5 "Glacier Memories" by. Chocolate Cake Supreme
Described as being real smoothness and also may cause drowsiness... sexy drowsiness.
- 4 "Sensual Candlewax (The Hovercraft Song)" by. Whipsy Fauntleroy
Though no description was given, T-Bone stated that if he had a hovercraft he would bump this jam nonstop during his swamp adventures and bearskin interludes of hovercraft sensualness.
- 3 "Hot Lobsters" by. Benny Musk
Described as and a genuine class, like a fresh pair of spats.
- 2 "Butt Connection" by. Raoul Champagne
Raoul finds an entirely new way to use the word "butt" in the title of a song.
- 1 "Let Me Put My Love Into There" by. Cassius LaFontaine
Though no description was given, T-Bone was emotional while playing it.
- Announcement EI Report: Vivacenote & The Case of Pietro - [NPC] Evil Timmy Fri Apr 08, 2011 5:13 pm
- 5 "Jazz Candle" by. Pierre XVII
This is one candle you'll want to burn at both ends, if you catch my drift.
- 4 "Bass Massage" by. The Titi Muscatachiollaire Orchestra
A nine-minute cacophony of sexy slap bass jazz-funk fusion and still manage to be smooth as a pretty lady's tear-filled eyeball.
- 3 "Dolphin Serenity Suite" by. Royce Breeze
A vibraphone jam.
- 2 "Lavender Oils on Ya Butt" by. Raoul Champagne
- 1 "Samba de Sensualidad" by. Buddy Helch