A listing of films, television shows and other media that were announced during the run of New Movie Monday.
- The Matrix - The blockbuster action spectacular about one man's battle with reality. Yes, that Matrix. You can actually watch it for free right now. Really. Hint: talk to Feebie to transform yourself into Neo or Trinity!
- Gattaca - The sci-fi tale of a futuristic dystopia where everyone is perfect (which is actually a bad thing).
- Space Jam - The goofball comedy featuring the basketball talents of Michael Jordan and cartoon slapstick talents of the Looney Tunes gang.
- Billabong Odyssey - The bone-shattering surf documentary that will leave you with seaweed in your lungs and sand in your crevices.
- Strange Brew: The cult comedy classic about two easygoing Canadian dorks whose quest for free beer uncovers a sinister world-domination plot. Contains the classic line "if I didn't have puke breath, I'd kiss you," which pretty much sums up the movie's brilliance.
- Tarzan and the Lost City: Everyone's favorite loinclothed yodeler is back in action! This time, our hunky ape-man returns to his African home to thwart the ambitions of a jungle-hating jerk who's trying to steal some treasure.
- Jailhouse Rock: Elvis goes to jail; Elvis sings about being in jail; Elvis gets out of jail and becomes really famous (and sings some more). The plot is secondary to the awesome songs, swingin' dances and pure unbridled Elvisness of it all. A must-see!
- Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow: If they made seven of them, they have to be good, right? RIGHT!?! This gleefully harebrained cop comedy sees the recruits heading to the Moscow to stop an evil mob boss from taking over the world with a hypnotic video game.
- Viva Knievel: Legendary stuntman Evel Knievel stars in this semi-autobiographical tale of a wild and crazy motorcycle jumper taking down a drug kingpin and winning the heart of a feminist journalist.
- Harlem Globetrotters: The Team that Changed the World: Fascinating documentary about the world's most beloved comedy-basketball team. Featuring commentary by Bill Cosby, Samuel L. Jackson and tween heartthrob Henry Kissinger.
- Wyatt Earp - Every day, we receive hundreds of letters just like this:
You know what would make your site way better? More Western epics starring Kevin Costner. Also, give me one million Gold or I will burn down your building.
- The Tick: The nigh-invulnerable blue superhero comes to life in this live-action series! Patrick Warburton (of Seinfeld and Family Guy) stars as the world's biggest, toughest, bluest and not-quite-smartest superhero. SPOOOOOOOON!
- The Dana Carvey Show: You may remember Dana Carvey as Garth from the Wayne's World movies. You may also remember Dana Carvey as hilarious. You're both right! Check out his critically-acclaimed but short-lived sketch comedy show for some guaranteed laughs.
- T.J. Hooker: Star Trek legend William Shatner plays a cop, which is pretty much all you need to know about this show in order to enjoy it. In fact, that's probably more than you need to know. Just enjoy it!
- Charlie's Angels Minisodes: What could be better than classic 70s episodes of Charlie's Angels? Classic 70s episodes of Charlie's Angels with all the boring plot stuff cut out! Check out some wicked Minisodes (Mini episodes! Get it?) of this campy classic.
- Diff'rent Strokes Minisodes: Wha'choo talkin' 'bout, Willis? Fans of Gary Coleman, sitcoms and comfortably broken-in catchphrases are sure to love these five-minute speedruns of classic Diff'rent Strokes episodes.
- Silver Spoons - In this 80s sitcom, a serious, uptight kid is sent to live with his wacky, childlike father. Unlike every other show in history, the kid must teach his dad to be responsible while the dad teaches his son to loosen up and have some fun. Featuring later Golden-Globe winner Rick Schroder as the adorably stuffy kid.
- Who's the Boss - What's with all these role reversal sitcoms? Tony (Tony Danza) is a freewheelin' live-in housekeeper for Angela (Judith Light), a no-nonsense ad executive. Together, they must raise two precocious kids (one each!) and ponder the profound philosophical question woven into the show's title.
- What's Happening!! - Three teenagers from Watts-- the studious Raj, the shy Dwayne and the bumbling Rerun-- engage in youthful shenanigans. One of the more beloved sitcoms of the 70s has now been smashed up into easy-to-swallow Minisode capsules!
- Dark Skies - This big-budget historical sci-fi alien drama was cancelled ahead of its time, but it's still remembered fondly as a cult TV classic.
- Forever Knight - I can confidently promise you that you will never see a better television series about a Canadian vampire cop struggling to escape his bloodsucking past by solving crimes on the means streets of Toronto. Never.
- I Dream of Jeannie - Anyone who's ever wished for their own personal genie might rethink the idea after watching this classic sitcom. Sure, they can grant wishes, but they also present a grave risk of wacky misunderstandings.
- S.W.A.T. - The fact that this series was allegedly cancelled in the 1970s for being too violent for its time leads us to believe that it's probably awesome.
- Rookies - A classic crime drama featuring a bunch of newbie cops learning the ropes and busting some bad guys.
- Great Scott - A young Tobey Maguire (Spiderman!) stars in this oddball comedy from the early 90s, widely regarded as hilarious and ahead of its time. Its writers went on to work on The Simpsons and Seinfeld, so be prepared for quality.
- Amazing Panda Adventure: The title of this film tells you pretty much all you need to know. It's an amazing adventure featuring a panda!
- Gorillas in the Mist: Sigourney Weaver (of Alien fame) picked up an Oscar nomination for her portrayal of a wildlife activist fighting to protect Gorillas from poachers (and possibly from some sort of mist).
New TV Stuff:
- Spider-Man: The New Animated Series: The web-slinging hero gets a CGI makeover in this 2003 animated series, created to match the feel of the Spider-Man movies. Amazing spider-fact: Spidey is voiced by Neil Patrick Harris of Doogie Howser fame!
- Astroboy: The granddaddy of anime, Astroboy was one of the most popular cartoons in Japanese history. At the height of its popularity, it was watched by 40% of all Japanese TV owners. It's a great cartoon and an important part of our cultural heritage!
- The Partridge Family: And speaking of important parts of our cultural heritage... come on, get happy! If you can't handle goofy songs and campy 70s plots, you might want to avoid this one. If you can, you'll be in retro heaven.
- Action: Jay Mohr stars in this brilliantly obscene and obscenely brilliant satire of backstabbing Hollywood sleazebags. Critically acclaimed but cancelled before it's time, probably because its relentless attacks on showbiz pissed off the wrong executive.
We've also got a new What's Happening! Minisode, for those of you who like your TV shows condensed into a bite-sized snack. Brevity is the soul of wit, they say.
- Singin' in the Rain: Pretty much the classic musical. If you like musicals, you will love this movie. In fact, I hate musicals and I love this movie. Everyone loves this movie; it's the most lovable movie ever, which is probably why it winds up on a lot of lists of the all-time greatest American movies.
- Kidnapped: This fast-paced drama follows police, private investigators and federal agents as they pursue a high-profile kidnapping case involving the teenage son of a wealthy New York couple.
- Square Pegs: Sarah Jessica Parker stars in this classic sitcom about two adorably desperate nerds trying to scheme their way into the high school in-crowd. Though it aired in the early 80s, the timeless theme of geeks trying to be cool is as relevant now as it ever was.
- The Facts of Life: This comedy/drama about a group of girls coming of age at a private school is one of the fundamental staples of a balanced rerun diet.
- Hart to Hart: The sexy, action-packed and super-popular series features a rich husband-and-wife team who cast aside their charmed life of wealth and glamour to lead a slightly different life of wealth and glamour as amateur detectives.
- Fantasy Island: A flamboyant gentleman and his shrill miniature sidekick let ordinary people live out their wildest dreams on a mysterious private island. Is it just me, or were TV shows a lot weirder back in the 70s?
- Sheena: The producers of Baywatch and Xena: Warrior Princess teamed up in 2000 to create this jungle fantasy series, which is basically a campy hybrid of Baywatch and Xena: Warrior Princess.
- Charlie's Angels - a FULL episode of Charlie's Angels this time! This is the pilot that shows you where it all began, in case you happened to be wondering about the mysterious origins of Charlie and his band of sexy... I don't know, detectives, or whatever they are.
- Sheena - More Baywatch-in-the-jungle action with everyone's favorite hot transforming leopard-woman, Sheena.
- Starsky & Hutch - Experience all the buddy-cop thrills in a fraction of the time with this Starsky & Hutch Minisode. These dudes represent an important point in the genesis of the modern cop duo, so action scholars would be well advised to take note of their captivating police chemistry.
- What's Happening! - Another tiny Minisode of What's Happening; as advertised, more stuff happens. To find out what, you need only commit a few minutes of your precious time.
- Home Fries: Luke Wilson and Drew Barrymore star in this dark romantic comedy about a pregnant fast-food worker who gets caught in a web of extremely messy family drama. Bring a date!
New TV Stuff:
- Benson: Sitcom connoisseurs can't miss this 80s classic about a quick-witted butler working for a bumbling state governor.
- Starsky & Hutch: Another episode of the beloved action-drama, sure to be packed with plenty more subtle masculine romance between the title characters!
- Who's the Boss: So, you just can't get enough Tony Danza? ...why? Get your Danza fix here, you poor, twisted soul. Your shameful secret is safe with us.
- Sheena: Another Minisode of Sheena, probably featuring exotic animals, underclothed women and Oscar-caliber writing. Well, two out of three ain't bad...
New TV Stuff:
- Hex - Being a teenage girl is difficult, even if you have magical powers and are the last descendent in a line of witches. While I'm sure that many of you would classify your lives as "supernatural horror-dramas," this show is the real thing.
- Werewolf - Unlike what they teach you in school, being a werewolf isn't all fun and games. This series follows the problems of Eric Cord, a guy with multiple problems: not only is he a werewolf, but he's a fugitive from justice after killing his werewolf roommate.
- Married... With Children - The classic sitcom that redefined dysfunctional families for a new era. Featuring Al Bundy, one of television's most loveably unfortunate losers. Viewer discretion advised (in other words: awesome).
- Plus: new episodes of What's Happening! And Diff'rent Strokes!
- Pure Country - Actual country music superstar George Strait stars in this tale of a fictional country music superstar (who just happens to look like country music superstar George Strait) trying to rediscover his roots.
- My Giant - Billy Crystal stars in one of the finest "normal-sized guy on the road with huge guy" buddy comedies of all time, though it's not quite as good as Bill Murray's Larger Than Life (but in that one, the huge guy was technically an elephant). The sight of Billy Crystal dwarfed in comparison to a really tall guy is a vein of comedic gold that just never seems to run dry!
New TV Stuff:
- The Ricki Lake Show - A quick Minisode of a trashy TV talk show classic. This week's topic: "My sister has no class... she's a hoochie!" The title alone is pure poetry. You'd be derelict in your support of the fine art of television if you didn't check this one out.
And as if that weren't sleazy enough, we've also got new episodes of Married... With Children and Fantasy Island.
To find the TV episodes, scroll down to the main movie listing window on the Cinemas page, click "Genre" and then select the "Television" listing. Enjoy!
Brand New Feature: Full Screen Viewing!
For those serious movie lovers who hate watching classics like My Giant in a teeny little window, we've added a "full screen" option. Have one of your nerd friends figure out how to hook your computer up to your TV and enjoy free movies on a reasonably-sized screen! To try it out, just click the little icon near the upper-right corner of the viewing screen.
- Every Which Way But Loose - Featuring a star-studded cast that marries man and ape and big giant truck! I mean, it doesn't literally marry them, because that would be weird and illegal, but... actually, maybe that would be a much better movie. But we'll settle for this, which stars Clint Eastwood as a trucker with a chip on his shoulder and an orangutan by his side.
New TV Stuff:
- Muddling Through - This extremely memorable mid-nineties features Friends star Jennifer Aniston and... uhh... here it is!
- Under the Cherry Moon: Sensual muskdwarf Prince stars in this romantic-musical-comedy-drama about a pair of grifters trying to bilk rich lady out of her fortune. Worth watching for the plot, but the wicked Prince soundtrack warrants repeat viewings for 80s pop fans.
- Soul Man: The 80s was a less enlightened time, my friends. Back then, it was still considered OK to make a movie about a white college student disguising himself as a black man in order to dupe an affirmative action program and get into Harvard, which is exactly what happens in this hilariously misguided comedy.
- Led Zeppelin - The Song Remains the Same: A massive concert film from one of the hugest rock bands in history. Rock fans will need no convincing to check this one out, and non-rock-fans might want to take a look to see what all the rock fans have been waving lighters about since 1973.
- Ghostbusters: The touching story of four men fighting to save the world from a ghost invasion. If you haven't seen this movie, here is your chance to stop being ridiculous.
- Underworld: Evolution: A pretty vampire lady fights werewolves and other vampires for an hour and a half. Can't beat that.
- Men in Black: The sci-fi/buddy picture/comedy that made Tommy Lee Jones a household name.
- Jerry Maguire: Jonathan Lipnicki stars in this critically acclaimed drama about a sports agent fighting to maintain his integrity in a world motivated by greed.
- The Fifth Element: Stylish and action-packed, you won't want to miss the dazzling special effects and high-pitched yelling from co-star Chris Tucker.
- Ghostbusters II: What more can you ask for? Ornery ghosts attacking people, the Statue of Liberty walking around. It's like a beautiful dream.
- The Karate Kid: For once, a movie that truly lives up to its title: guaranteed to contain both karate and a kid, in exactly the right proportions.
- The Karate Kid, Part II: This sequel takes our heroes to Japan, the birthplace of the karate chop, for more adventure, love, and headbands.
- The Karate Kid, Part III: The perfect union of martial arts action, revenge, and small business ownership.
- When a Stranger Calls: The touching story of a babysitter who gets threatening calls from a deranged serial killer. My kind of flick!
- Finding Forrester: See the film adaptation of the popular Internet catchphrase "you're the man now, dog."
- Jumanji: A crazy Robin Williams escapes from a jungle board game and accidentally unleashes a menagerie of beasts upon the city. Based on a true story.
- Legends of the Fall: The bond between three brothers and their father is torn asunder by love, war, and pirates. Well, maybe not that last one.
- Sense and Sensibility: If English romance and intrigue is your cup of tea, then somebody just poured hot tea all over your lap.
- Sleepless in Seattle: This classic romantic comedy features Tom Hanks as a lonely widower in search of love... and an ancient amulet capable of bringing the dead back to life. Nah, just love.
- Cops and Robbersons: Chevy Chase and Jack Palance star in this epic movie about crime and punishment, and the lengths one lawman will go to see that justice is served.
- Toy Soldiers: When terrorists take over a boarding school, it's up to a group of mischievous students to stop them. Starring a hobbit and that kid from Star Trek who was always causing problems.
- Higher Learning: In this emotionally charged drama about college life pushed to its limits, we see how people of different backgrounds confront issues of race, gender, and sorcery. Except maybe not so much sorcery.
Good news, anime fans! We're adding over 100 pounds of freshly farmed anime to Cinemas, courtesy of FUNimation. That means that right now you could be watching episodes of Black Blood Brothers, Blue Gender, Suzuka and more with your friends.
If that didn't wet your whistle, we'll also be adding new anime shows and episodes to Cinemas every Tuesday. Be sure to check back often!
- Cliffhanger: Sylvester Stallone squares off against John Lithgow in this epic tale of men, cliffs, and hanging tough.
- Hollywood Knights: A bawdy 80s tale of rebellious teens launching a terrorist campaign against authority in order to save their favorite dine-in.
- Son of Godzilla: Some meddling scientists get a face full of hubris when Godzilla & Son show up to beat the crap out of giant insects and create a royal ruckus.