The Evolving Item Report for 2010.
Notice that Dr. Singh's avatar has replaced Timmy (and other co-hosts) in the announcements since he is no longer present as a character.
January[]
08 EI Report: Mizuchi's Jewel, Lyndexer, Seracila[]
[NPC] Adult Timmy and Rick
- Topic EI Report: Mizuchi's Jewel, Lyndexer, Seracila - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Jan 08, 2010 5:14 pm
Surprise! We've got a new evolving item today: Mizuchi's Jewel seems to be in its larval state at the moment, but we're definitely getting a freshwater folklore vibe... There's also a great update to the Seracila Pendant, plus the amazing finale of Lyndexer's Journal!
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You can grab all these EIs-- including a first-generation Mizuchi's Jewel -- in the Gaia Cash Shop:
Quick note: on Thursday the 14th, we'll be removing some great EIs from the shop: Kottan Bell, Stolen Mesozoic DNA and Yemaya's Pearl. Don't miss your chance to pick 'em up! Also, we're moving next week's EI report up to Thursday to make room for January's Monthly Collectibles on Friday.
Now, stay tuned for the full report, in which Timmy's spiritual journey continues...
Timmy: Hiya, folks! I was kinda takin' it easy durin' the holiday season, but now I'm back in business and ready to continue my spiritual quest! As you can see, I've got a real special guest this month: Enlightened Master Rick from the Barton Institute for Crystal Dolphin Knowledge! I met him outside the bus station, and he seems pretty legit...
- Rick: I am at peace, Timmy. I've, uh, got all my soul crystals in order, and, like...
Timmy: Well, that's good! How'bout you stand around lookin' peaceful for a few minutes while I take care of some business, OK? Cause we got a lotta cool stuff to talk about, includin' the brand-new Mizuchi's Jewel-- right now, it looks like some kinda tadpoley piece of stone, but if I've learned anything from years of EI reports, it's that this thing is gonna turn into somethin' real neato.
- Rick: Far out.
Timmy: One of our big items is also gettin' a big finale today, too! Lyndexer's Journal has been a pretty epic tale of love and war and grave injury, but we're finally gonna see the final page today: it looks like after the loss of his leg, Lyndexer served out the rest of the war as a pilot, leaving his goggles and journal buried as a memorial to his fallen friends. Now that his story's been told, his spirit friend's task is complete... we've also got a beautiful piece of art from the item's creator!
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- Rick: We've all got animal spirit companions, man. Mine is a dolphin. Yours is... a grapefruit.
Timmy: We've also got an update to the Seracila Pendant. It's lookin' real regal this week, with lots of royal-lookin' reds and golds. Fit for a king! That's all the updates for this week, but remember to stop by and vote in our weekly poll. We'd love to hear from you! So, moving on: Rick, can you help me figure out the meanin' of life and whatnot?
- Rick: Totally. Yeah, man, the meaning of life. It's just like... yeah, man. What if we're all, like, inside a huuuuuge... uh, and it's like thousands of tiny universes. You know what I'm saying, dude?
Timmy: I don't think I'm really getting it, Rick.
- Rick: Well the key to enlightenment is, like, you gotta expand your consciousness. Like, think about a dolphin, man. They're so gentle and... like, have you ever seen a dolphin start a war, man? No way.
Timmy: I think I get it... so how do I reach enlightenment and expand my consciousness and stuff?
- Rick: Totally. That's what you gotta do. Exactly, man.
Timmy: Yeah, but how do I do that?
- Rick: Whoa, chill out, man. I mean, it's not like I'm some guy full of all the answers and stuff, man. You gotta find your own path. It's like... have you ever seen a dolphin buggin' out about his life? No way, because his job is to eat fish and go EE EE EE EE!
Timmy: So how do crystals fit into all of this?
- Rick: Well, like, you can buy them in a store. And then you look at them and you're all like ooooooooh. Some of them have funny colors and stuff. And, like... didn't I mention about how, y'know, what if we're all inside, like, a huge... big universe thing? And inside that, there are all these tiny universes, and, y'know...
Timmy: That's real interesting, Rick. I think I'm gonna... go now.
14 EI Report: Reve Rouille, Hidden Ace[]
[NPC] Adult Timmy and Telos 5
- Topic EI Report: Reve Rouille, Hidden Ace - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:11 pm
Hey, it's only Thursday! In this special early edition of the Evolving Item Report, two great items are getting some attention. The Hidden Ace is getting a royal update, and we're proud to announce the long-awaited finale of the spectacular Reve Rouille!
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You can grab all these EIs and more in the Gaia Cash Shop:
Now, stay tuned for the full report, in which Timmy's spiritual journey leads him to a non-traditional religion...
Timmy: Hiya, pals! Time for another EI Report, and another stop on my long journey to find spiritual fulfillment. As you can see, I got myself a real special guest this week: Captain Telos 5 from the Universal Transcendent Spirit Collective! I'm gonna be talkin' with him in a few minutes to see if I can find enlightenment, but first we gotta take care of business...
- Telos 5: Please be brief, Timmy. The time is almost at hand.
Timmy: I'll do my best, Telos! Looks like we've got two items this week: the Hidden Ace is lookin' pretty great this week-- now you can get all decked out like the Queen of Heart!
- Telos 5: Can we speed this along, Timmy? Enlightenment awaits!
Timmy: Hold yer horses, pal! We've still gotta tell everyone about this week's humongous news: the Reve Rouille, one of the fanciest items I've ever seen, is gettin' a gigantic finale today. Looks like it comes with tons of amazin' outfits and costume pieces for both men and women, plus some great accessories. Holy smackerjacks, Doc!
- Telos 5: Doc? Who's Doc?
Timmy: Eh, sorry, Telos. Force of habit! Anywho, that just about does it for this week, folks-- but don't forget to vote in our weekly poll to let us know which items you like best. Now, let's have a word with Telos...
- Telos 5: I've found you just in the nick of time, Timmy. Your spiritual awakening is at hand!
Timmy: Jumpin' critters! It's my lucky day!
- Telos 5: Indeed it is, because this is the final hour of our mortal existence! You see, a great celestial event is about to take place: the Core People, beings from the hollow center of the planet, are about to emerge in their tremendous golden spaceship and whisk us away to their beautiful paradise world! We must prepare!
Timmy: No kiddin'? That sounds great!
- Telos 5: My followers and I are about to make our final preparations for departure. You're welcome to join us, if you wish. Think quickly, though: this is your last chance! Are you ready to leave your worldly vessel behind and experience immortal bliss on the paradise planet of the Core People?
Timmy: Jeepers! I sure do! But it's all so sudden... what if I wanna bring the Doc with me? I should call her up and let her know that it's time to get on the spaceship...
- Telos 5: There's no time, Timmy! At this very moment, we're preparing to don our final tracksuits and imbibe our final beverages. Join me, Timmy! Your spiritual quest is at an end... all you have to do is drink this delicious fruity concoction!
Timmy: Actually, I didn't wanna say anything cause it's embarrassin', but I reeaaaally gotta pee right now, so I shouldn't drink anything. I mean, I don't wanna whiz myself on the golden spaceship, right?
- Telos 5: Timmy, once you drink this final beverage, all your worldly pee worries will be irrelevant, because your living vessel will become obsolete. Do you understand me?
Timmy: Nah, I mean, it's practically an emergency. I gotta go real, real bad. So how about this: once the spaceship gets here, I'll just hop aboard real quick and see if they've got a bathroom, and if they do I'll use it real fast then drink the fruity stuff and I'll be all ready to go.
- Telos 5: No! They won't let you aboard unless you drink the final beverage first!
Timmy: Well they probably won't let me aboard if I peed my pants, either, cause I bet they don't want me sloshin' all over their nice golden spaceship.
- Telos 5: They don't care about your body! They'll be taking only your immortal spirit with them. Just drink it!
Timmy: I don't know if my immortal spirit could ever truly be at peace if it knew my body was out there somewhere whizzin' in its pants...
- Telos 5: Fine! Don't drink the beverage. You'll be sorry when we're all up there in space, laughing at you from our paradise world. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go drink my final beverage with my fellow believers and experience the ultimate spiritual bliss.
Timmy: Sorry I didn't get on your spaceship, mister. But I think the only thing that would bring me the ultimate spiritual bliss right now is findin' a bathroom...
22 EI Report: Dappy Dandy & Shadowlegend[]
[NPC] Adult Timmy and Ron Bruise
- Topic EI Report: Dappy Dandy & Shadowlegend - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Jan 22, 2010 4:30 pm
Happy Friday! In this week's Evolving Item Report, we've got updates to the Dappy Dandy and Shadowlegend-- put 'em together and you've got the thrill of ninja vengeance and the sophistication of formal dress! What could be a better combo?
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You can grab all these EIs and more in the Gaia Cash Shop:
Get Gaia Cash cards at Target, 7-11, Rite Aid and Wal-Mart stores nationwide, or order Cash online. Learn more.
Now, stay tuned for the full report, in which Timmy meets a celebrity spokesperson for an intriguing religion...
Timmy: Hiya, folks, I'm-- I'm just so darned excited I can hardly speech! I mean speak! I know I've had a lotta interesting guests lately-- in fact, I tried to get that spaceship guy back this week to see if his offer for that fruity beverage still stands, but he wasn't answerin' his phone-- but this is beyond all of 'em: this week's guest is only the biggest celebrity in the world!
- Ron Bruise: Good to be here, Tim. Great to be here. Tim, it's great to see you.
Timmy: I been on some kinda spiritual quest for enlightenment lately, and as we all know, there's nobody who has life and love and spirituality figured out better than celebrities! Isn't that right, Ron?
- Ron Bruise: Tim, I'm just so happy. Never been happier. Things are goin' great. Whoooo!
Timmy: Yeah! We better get to the items right away, before I seize up from all the adulation. We've got two great items changin' this week. First up, our heroes in the Shadowlegend have buried their slain master, and now vengeful thoughts are a-brewin...
- Ron Bruise: This reminds me of my role in the 1986 action film, Ninja Revenge II: Ninja Revenge Vengeance.
Timmy: That's a real classic, Ron! The best of the Ninja Revenge series, if you ask me.
- Ron Bruise: It holds the record for most highest ratio between decapitations and cast members. Almost 2:1! WHOOO!
Timmy: We've also got a real spectacular update from the Dappy Dandy, with lots more class and sophistication: trousers, fancy coats, and even some tophats! Whaddaya say, Ron?
- Ron Bruise: Perfect for the red carpet. I'll be sure to pick one up to wear at the premiere of my upcoming action comedy, Baby Assassin.
Timmy: I'm sold, Ron! You had me at "Baby" and you had me again at "Assassin"! Anywho, that's it for the items this week. Make sure to stop by our weekly EI poll to let us know what you think! Now, I'd love to get a quick word in with Ron about spiritual enlightenment...
- Ron Bruise: You got it, buddy! So, Tim, I'm gonna lay it down for you: you and me, Tim, we're celebrities. You've got your little TV show, I'm the most famous man in the world, same thing, right?
Timmy: Well, I mean, I guess so...
- Ron Bruise: So what does that mean? Well, celebrity means money, right? And money means spiritual fulfillment. Y'see, Tim, for just 350,000 Gold, I can hook you up to this little meter, and the meter has this little needle that responds to your soul, and the needle tells me whether you're feeling anxiety. Anxiety because of bad aliens in your past, Tim.
Timmy: Bad aliens? Jeepers, sign me up! But actually, I don't really have that much money... Dr. Singh keeps it in trust, so I can live on it when I get older, but she only gives me a little weekly allowance...
- Ron Bruise: How much of an allowance?
Timmy: About 25 Gold, I guess. I usually spend it on bubble gum and marbles.
- Ron Bruise: Well, keep saving it up, buddy! In 14,000 weeks, you'll be able to afford your first G-Meter treatment. Then you'll be in business!
Timmy: Sounds great, Ron! How many years is that?
- Ron Bruise: About... two hundred and sixty nine years, Tim. See you then! I gotta get going, buddy. Early shoot tomorrow. Keep your chin up, huh, buddy?
Timmy: Sure thing, Ron! See you in a couple dozen decades!
29 EI Report: Mizuchi's Jewel, Seracila Pendant[]
[NPC] Adult Timmy and Brother Swimp
- Topic EI Report: Mizuchi's Jewel, Seracila Pendant - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Thu Jan 28, 2010 8:19 pm
Evolving Item time! This week, we've got two more great items getting some cool new poses to play around with: the beautiful Seracila Pendant and the flamingly intense Mizuchi's Jewel. Take a peek:
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You can grab all these EIs and more in the Gaia Cash Shop:
Now, stay tuned for the full report, in which Timmy finally finds a reputable gateway to spiritual enlightenment...
Timmy: Hiya, pals! Looks like it's time for another EI Report, and another stop on my mystifyin' journey of self discovery! As you can see, I've got another very special spiritual guest this week: Brother Swimp, who's obviously some kinda monk!
- Brother Swimp: Indeed. I am a member of the Sacred Order of the Mountain Monks.
Timmy: Swell! We'll be talkin' with him in a while about his beliefs-- even though this whole spiritual quest thing has meant nothin' but plummeting ratings for the show. First, though, let's talk about items!
- Brother Swimp: Please do. I will meditate while you conduct your business.
Timmy: Neat! So, first up this week, the beautiful Seracila Pendant is evolving! What was already a gorgeous item is getting even better this week, with some beautiful new astrologically-inspired accessories. It's lookin' real cute this week, so I'm sure--
- Brother Swimp: BUUHHHHHHHH...
Timmy: Uh. Hey, Brother Swimp... what's with the noise?
- Brother Swimp: When members of the Mountain Monks meditate, we each choose our own mantra to chant. Mine is a long, loud, sustained "BUHHHHHH."
Timmy: Oh! Sorry I interrupted your meditatin', Brother. You can go right on ahead. Anywho, next up this week, we've got a--
- Brother Swimp: BUHHHHHHHH...
Timmy: Uh, yeah, we've got an update to Mizuchi's Jewel, which has a selection of ethereal, flamin' accessories! Brother Swimp, what do you th--
- Brother Swimp: BUHHHHHHHHHHHHH...
Timmy: Hm. So, anyway, that's about all for this week, but don't forget to stop by our weekly poll, where you can--
- Brother Swimp: BUUHHHHHHHHH...
Timmy: Hello? Brother Swimp? You wanna take a quick break from medit--
- Brother Swimp: BUUHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Timmy: Yeah...
- Brother Swimp: Sorry! Just had to get one last good one in. What can I do for you, Timmy?
Timmy: Well, I'm just kinda goin' for this whole spiritual self-discovery thing, and I was kinda wondering how you managed to reach enlightenment.
- Brother Swimp: Enlightenment is a lifelong process, Timmy. While I cannot claim to have reached total enlightenment, I do know that devoting myself to the Mountain Monks and adopting their ways has led me to greater contentment and fulfillment than I've ever known before.
Timmy: That sounds pretty good! Sign me up, Swimp! What do I have to do?
- Brother Swimp: It is fairly simple, Timmy. You must renounce the material trappings of this modern world and make a commitment to a life of deep contemplation. You must also make a pilgrimage to visit The Master, who lives atop the tallest mountain in the land.
Timmy: To be honest, that isn't soundin' real simple at all...
- Brother Swimp: I admit that the mountain journey is quite rigorous. Without proper preparation, you may not survive. However, the spiritual rewards are great.
Timmy: And what's this about renouncin' stuff?
- Brother Swimp: The monks of the Brotherhood deny themselves many worldly pleasures: alcohol, yelling, celebrity gossip magazines, social networking websites, collectible card games, skipping stones, rock-paper-scissors, sliding down stairway banisters, cola drinks and kissing with tongue.
Timmy: Well, I don't do mosta those things anyway! I guess I'm gonna miss slidin' down banisters, though...
- Brother Swimp: Timmy, you strike me as a young man who is ready to make a deep commitment to a much more rewarding lifestyle. Tell me, are you willing to make the arduous mountain journey to meet The Master? It will be difficult, but it may be your best chance at total spiritual contentment.
Timmy: Y'know what? I'll do it! I've been wanderin' around long enough. It's time I got some real adventure under my belt. Lead the way, Swimp!
February[]
05 EI Report: Compass of Seidh, Hidden Ace, Case of Pietro[]
[NPC] Adult Timmy and Brother Swimp 2
- Topic EI Report: Compass of Seidh, Hidden Ace, Case of Pietro - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Feb 05, 2010 4:58 pm
We've got a brand new Evolving Item today! The Compass of Seidh, a family heirloom from a grandfather you've never met, comes only with this cryptic note:
“"The compass must be returned to its rightful owner to be able to fully function. He or she who carries the compass will be its owner and guardian. Should one fail as a guardian, the compass will fall to the hand of the next guardian."”
We've also got two items evolving: a King of Spades set from the Hidden Ace, and a new twist in the Case of Pietro.
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You can grab a first-generation Compass of Seidh and many more great EIs in the Gaia Cash Shop:
Now, stay tuned for the full report, in which Timmy begins his mountain ascent to meet the master of the monks!
Timmy: Hi, ladies and gent... whoof, Brother Swimp, it's kinda hard to breathe up here...
- Brother Swimp: Yes, Timmy. At this altitude, the air becomes very thin.
Timmy: Folks, in case ya missed it last time, this monk is leadin' me up a mountain to talk to some kinda wise man. We've been walkin' for six days already, and boy howdy, it's gettin' pretty cold. Aren't you cold in those robes, Swimp?
- Brother Swimp: The placidity of my mind allows me to control the temperature of my body. Still, an updraft from the icy expanse beneath us does on occasion wend its way up the skirts of my robe, causing a significant icing of the undercarriage.
Timmy: I'm real sorry to here that, Brother Swimp. I myself am freezin' my undercarriage off, even with this big ol' coat. Maybe I shoulda worn long pants... but hey, enough complainin': I'm doin' this for spiritual enlightenment and stuff, so I gotta act like a man about it.
- Brother Swimp: Well said, Timmy.
Timmy: But enough about all this undercarriage stuff. Let's get to the items, cause we've got some great stuff. First up, we've got a brand new item!
Timmy: In other news, the Case of Pietro has had another breakthrough: looks like the case has fallen into the hands of a couple'a unlucky bystanders, a barista and a bartender. Say, that bartender guy's got kinda girly hair, doesn't he?
- Brother Swimp: It is not our place to judge the girly hair of others, Timmy. Plus, I had that same haircut before I shaved my head.
Timmy: Golly, Swimp, I guess you're right! Last up this week, the Hidden Ace has changed its suit again. This time, we're gettin' some cool poses based on the King of Spades!
- Brother Swimp: Timmy, you may be required to renounce games of chance if you join the Sacred Order.
Timmy: That's OK, I always lose anywho. Dr. Singh would always beat me at poker! I remember when I was about five years old, we'd play every week-- eventually, she won my whole trust fund! Isn't that a hoot? I'm still tryna dig myself outta that hole.
- Brother Swimp: That's... a cute story, Timmy.
Timmy: Welp, looks like that's all the items for today-- but before we go, let's make sure we tell 'em about our weekly poll, where they can let us know which items they like the best! Now, Brother Swimp, shall we keep walkin' up this stupid mountain, or what?
- Brother Swimp: Let's press on, Timmy! We're only seven thousand feet from the summit!
Timmy: Oof.
12 EI Report: Shadowlegend, Dappy Dandy[]
[NPC] Adult Timmy journey10, Brother Swimp, Old Pete
- Topic EI Report: Shadowlegend, Dappy Dandy - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Thu Feb 11, 2010 5:53 pm
It's Evolving time! We've got two items getting updated this week: the Shadowlegend is packed with more ninja action, and the Dappy Dandy has a new selection of highbrow goodies for the discriminating sophisticate.
You can grab these EIs and many more in the Gaia Cash Shop!
Stay tuned for the full report-- we're just weeks away from the thrilling conclusion to Timmy's grim ordeal of spiritual enlightenment!
Timmy: Hiya, guys! Hope I can get through this... whoof... whole Evolving Item Report without freezin' to death-- Brother Swimp is leadin' me up this mountain to meet his spiritual master guy, and boy howdy, we must be like twenty thousand feet up by now...
- Brother Swimp: Just a few more minutes, Timmy! We're almost to the Master's cave.
Timmy: Say, let's see if I can tell everyone about the items without passin' out from lack of oxygen! First up this week, more thrilling tales of ninja vengeance are comin' our way from the Shadowlegend! This week, the paths of our two young heroes have diverged... Raiden has met a powerful monk (like you, Brother Swimp!) and Raika has met a dark, mysterious stranger...
- Brother Swimp: I can relate. If my Master died, I'd definitely have to go on a journey to avenge his death.
Timmy: Wow! Do you have crazy martial arts skills an' everything?
- Brother Swimp: No, but I was an accountant in a previous life. Perhaps I could give the killer unsound financial advice, triggering an inconvenient and stressful audit.
Timmy: That's almost just as good as beatin' them to death, I guess... so, up next, we got some cute new stuff from the Dappy Dandy! Some very sophisticated hats an' coats this time, perfect for your next old-timey soiree.
- Brother Swimp: Timmy! We're approaching the Master's cave!
Timmy: Hot diggity! Great timing, too, 'cause I'm just about done this week-- just gotta tell the people to stop by and vote in our EI poll and let us know which items they like best!
- Brother Swimp: We're at the entrance, Timmy-- remember to show the Master the reverence he deserves. Don't look him directly in the eye, because he tends to get agitated...
Timmy: Master, I'm humbled to be in your pres-- HOLY JEEPERS! It's Old Pete!
Old Pete: Hrmph. Urrh, I'm a, y'know. Spirit master? Pajama monk guy, I command you to bring me, uh, some brass polish and a ham sandwich. A real old ham sandwich. Because I am a master guy.
- Brother Swimp: Your wish is my command, o revered Master! I would be honored to bring you the stale ham sandwich you require.
Timmy: Wait a goshdarned minute, Brother Swimp-- don't you know Old Pete? He's no spiritual master, he's just a crazy old hobo!
- Brother Swimp: But... he says such enlightened things!
Old Pete: Y'wanna see my necklace? It's made outta some dog teeth, and some'a my own teeth. Maybe just my own teeth...
- Brother Swimp: And... he has a beard and lives on a mountain, right? That must count for something...
Old Pete: Found a rock today what looked real pretty. Gonna make that rock my wife.
Timmy: Pete, what the heck are you doin' on this mountain? You're gonna catch frostbite!
Old Pete: Naw. Drank some antifreeze.
Timmy: Thank goodness!
- Brother Swimp: So... he's really just a crazy hobo? Good heavens, Timmy... I gave away all my possessions... I closed down my accounting practice...
Old Pete: Harf. Gonna need that sandwich pretty soon, fella.
Timmy: I just spent two weeks trudgin' up this giant horrible mountain for this? I'm no closer to spiritual enlightenment than when I started! I'm not usually the kinda guy who loses my temper, but I gotta say it: this is horsehockey!
- Brother Swimp: Now, Timmy, we're all feeling very emotional right now, but there's no need for that kind of language...
Timmy: HORSEHOCKEY! I guess I might as well just give up on this whole "finding myself" thing... I wonder if the Doc still needs somebody to do her dishes and wash her clothes and pry the asbestos outta the ceiling...
Old Pete: Hmph. Or y'could just go around that rock over there and talk to the Giant Holy Head.
Timmy: The what now?
Old Pete: Y'know. Giant Holy Head. He brang me a sandwich and some brass polish once. Real nice fella.
Timmy: You mean to tell me some sort of a GOD lives on this mountain?
Old Pete: Just over yonder. 'Bout twenty yards from here. Ask him if I can have another can of brass polish.
- Brother Swimp: Don’t do it, Timmy! It's too dangerous!
Timmy: Why?
- Brother Swimp: I don't know, I just wanted to sound important.
Timmy: Well, I guess it's my last hope... might as well see what lies in wait around the other side of that rock...
19 EI Report: Mizuchi's Jewel, Compass of Seidh[]
[NPC] Adult Timmy journey1
- Topic EI Report: Mizuchi's Jewel, Compass of Seidh - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Feb 19, 2010 4:39 pm
Happy Friday! This week, two of our newest Evolving Items are getting some beautiful updates: Mizuchi's Jewel boasts some fine undersea creatures, and the Compass of Seidh has some fashionable new garments to enjoy. Meanwhile, the long, strange saga of Timmy is coming to a close this week-- and it's up to YOU to decide his ultimate fate!
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You can grab these EIs and many more in the Gaia Cash Shop!
Stay tuned for the full report!
Timmy: Well, I'm... oof... almost up to the top of this huge mountain thing, on my way to see some sorta "Giant Holy Head" that lives up here and does all kinds of godly stuff and whatnot.
In case you haven't been payin' attention, I realized a while back that Dr. Singh hadn't really been puttin' my best interests first and foremost... so I decided to try to go on this big ol' spiritual journey to find myself and become my own man and stuff. So far, it hasn't been goin' real well, but it seems like maybe I'm almost gettin' to the end of it...
Whatever happens up here, I'm not sure how many times I'm gonna be seein' you guys again. I just wanted to let you know that despite all the ups and downs and mutations and smooth-jazz-loving evil twins, hostin' this show has always been my most favorite thing in the world!
So let's give it one last go, shall we? I'm-- whew, gettin' a little choked up here-- I'm super excited to report that two of our coolest new items are evolvin' today! The Compass of Seidh is gettin' its very first evolution, with some really warm-lookin' boots and feathery wraps... kinda wish I had some of that stuff up here. Shorts were a bad choice. Mizuchi's Jewel is evolving for the second time today, with a buncha neat new undersea goodies for all you ocean lovers out there!
Even though I'll be movin' on, it's real heartwarmin' to see that new EIs are still springin' up and doin' cool new stuff-- it's kinda like the circle of life or something. Anywho, make sure you stop by the weekly poll and let us know which ones you like best!
Now, I guess it's time to confront my fate, ladies and gentlemen... right around this corner, there's some kinda Giant Holy Head livin' up in the sky, so I'll just head over here and...
- Giant Holy Head: Timmy!
Timmy: JEEPERS! Are you the Giant Holy Head?
- Giant Holy Head: Was that question really necessary, my child?
Timmy: Wow, I guess not! Anywho, I was just up here because I'm on a quest to find spiritu--
- Giant Holy Head: I know why you are here, my child. Hear my words, Timmy. You have suffered great injustice in your short life: you have been mistreated by an unfit caretaker, resulting in mutations, evil twins, disgusting puberty and premature adulthood.
Timmy: Aww, the Doc ain't all bad, and she always tried to fix it when stuff went wrong! Plus, some of that was kinda my fault.
- Giant Holy Head: No, Timmy, it was not. Though she rarely intended harm, Dr. Singh's negligence and selfishness caused you trials far beyond those that an average child must face. After reviewing your case, I hereby find that the fault does not lie with you, and you shall be compensated.
Timmy: Compensated? What the heck does that mean?
- Giant Holy Head: Timmy, I seek to put right the injustices visited upon you. I will give you three choices of how I might proceed:
- 1. You may become a child again and be delivered to a more suitable guardian; you will live a normal and happy childhood, never suffering further traumatic mutations or comic mishaps.
- 2. You will shed your mortal form and be transformed into the thing you love the best: an Evolving Item.
- 3. Dr. Singh will face divine punishment for her mistreatment of you.
- Which will you choose, Timmy?
Timmy: Well, I... golly! I just have no idea. I mean, bein' a kid again would be just great, but bein' an evolving item sounds like pretty much the greatest honor a person could get! And, jeepers, I never really thought about it, but I guess some little part of me does wanna see the Doc get a tiny bit of comeuppance for all the things she put me through...
- Giant Holy Head: So, Timmy, what shall your choice be?
Timmy: Oh, golly. Sheesh. This is a toughie. I guess I'll... hey, if you're a big holy God-type thing, why can't you just make all three happen?
- Giant Holy Head: Nice try, Timmy, but selecting one of my totally arbitrary options is an important step in your spiritual growth.
Timmy: I guess I should just do what I always do, then: how'bout I ask my faithful viewing public which one to choose!?
- Giant Holy Head: However you'd like to decide, Timmy, it's up to you.
Timmy: Well, I'll do that, then-- hey, everybody! You should come vote in this poll to decide what happens to me, 'cause I trust the power of democracy!
- Giant Holy Head: Choose wisely, Gaian public-- whatever you decide shall be Timmy's ultimate fate!
26 EI Report: Seracila Pendant, Case of Pietro, Timmy[]
[NPC] Adult Timmy journey1
- Topic EI Report: Seracila Pendant, Case of Pietro, Timmy - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Feb 26, 2010 5:13 pm
This week, Timmy's tragic journey finally comes to a happy ending as he's turned into an evolving item: Timmy! We've also got great new updates to the Case of Pietro and the Seracila Pendant. Take a gander!
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You can grab these EIs-- including a first-generation Timmy-- in the Gaia Cash Shop!
Stay tuned for Timmy's final report!
Timmy: Well, folks, I guess this is it. Thousands and thousands of you guys voted in my poll last week, and it seems like mosta you want me to become an evolving item. Hey, sounds good to me! Havin' a normal, happy childhood woulda been pretty neat, but if I turn into an item, I get to become the thing I love the most!
But before I do that, I'd better tell you what's goin' on this week in terms of other evolving items: first up, the Case of Pietro has encountered another plot twist! The Detective, with the captured thief in tow, have stumbled upon the deceased Investigator... but the Barista and Bartender are nowhere to be found? You guys followin' all this? Good! There's also a great update to the Seracila Pendant, with some gorgeous new blue-and-white garments.
There's also gonna be, if everything goes accordin' to plan, a brand new EI this week: ME! Remember to vote in our weekly poll to let us know which items you like best. Now, I guess I better consult the Giant Holy Head about turnin' into an item...
- Giant Holy Head: Are you ready, Timmy? I warn you, though, that you may experience some slight discomfort as we convert you into an inanimate object...
Timmy: Converted into an inanimate object? I gotta be honest: that sounds a tiny bit like, y'know, you're killin' me.
- Giant Holy Head: Oh! No, of course not. Nothing like that. You'll be immortalized as an item, not killed. You'll be on a higher plane of existence, Timmy. You'll be in thousands of places at once, enjoying the company of all the fans who purchase you, living thousands of joyous lives at once.
Timmy: That sounds like it should be kinda scary, Giant Holy Head, but somehow I'm feelin' a profound sense of calm and relief and spiritual fulfillment, as if I've finally discovered the true purpose of my life! I think it's some sorta religious ecstacy.
- Giant Holy Head: Well, the oxygen is very thin at this altitude.
Timmy: What the heck? Let's go for it! I wanna be an evolving item!
- Giant Holy Head: Any last words, Timmy?
Timmy: Wow, guess I shoulda thought about this in advance, huh? Well, mostly, I wanna thank all the great people out there who tuned in every week and showed so much support for me, even when I turned into an awful mutant and started eatin' the Doc's arm. Even if the Doc was kinda mean sometimes, all the fans out there always had my best interests at heart, and I'm always gonna remember that-- I can't wait to hang out with you all when I'm an item!
- Giant Holy Head: Anything else?
Timmy: Oh yeah... and I hope I'm real valuable in the Marketplace! And, uh, I wanna say to the Doc that she's always been my favorite person, even when she did mean things. And I guess that's all.
- Giant Holy Head: That's very sweet, Timmy. You ready?
Timmy: Let's do this. Oh! Wait! Isn't Evil Timmy still out there somewh--
- Giant Holy Head: *ZZZZAAAP* ...hey, it worked! Whew. To be honest, I've never done that before, so there was about a 50% chance he'd just melt into a twitching puddle of gore and viscera. So... hey, I guess I'm running the show for the rest of the week, so it's my duty to let you know that Timmy is the newest evolving item available in the Cash Shop! You can pick one up today! So... uh... I guess that's all? Goodbye, everyone!
March[]
05 EI Report: Hidden Ace, Dappy Dandy, Compass of Seidh[]
[NPC] Dr. Singh
- Topic EI Report: Hidden Ace, Dappy Dandy, Compass of Seidh - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:53 pm
It's good to be back! You'll be pleased to know I had a nice little vacation while Timmy was off on his arduous spiritual journey for the past few months. I bought a hammock! And, uh, read part of a book.
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Now that Timmy's been turned into an EI, I guess it's up to me to do these reports for the time being, so here goes. This week, we have three items evolving! First up, the Hidden Ace has reached its spectacular conclusion! It features the Ace of Clubs this time, plus an adorable new companion: a giant flying magibani! If that's not just the cutest thing I've ever seen!
In other news, the Dappy Dandy is back with some intensely colorful new garb-- it's getting a little dressier this week, and you've been invited to a fancy soiree by the lovely Dahlia! Last but not least, the Compass of Seidh has a grand new selection of feathered accessories, plus a beautiful white-plumed companion.
That's it for this week-- be sure to visit our weekly EI poll to let us know your favorites. You can grab all these EIs and many more in the Gaia Cash Shop!
12 EI Report: Shadowlegend, Mizuchi's Jewel[]
- Topic EI Report: Shadowlegend, Mizuchi's Jewel - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Mar 12, 2010 4:29 pm
Hi, ladies and gents! I'm still getting used to doing these EI reports without a co-host, but luckily I love the sound of my own voice. Let's put this velvety mezzo-soprano to good use with some big news: as Flynn mentioned earlier, we've got a hot new EI on our hands! The Imaginary Friend, a colorful little companion, is now available in the Cash Shop-- it's still in its first generation, which means you've still got a chance to grab it in its most valuable state.
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We've also got two items evolving: the Shadowlegend continues its dark tale of ninja vengeance. I sure wish Timmy were around to see it, because he loves a good training montage-- this week, our heroes have both found unusual trainers, one a blind swordsman and the other a strange swamp-dweller.
There's an amazing update to Mizuchi's Jewel-- it was a brilliant item to begin with, but now we're really seeing it bursting forth into the major leagues with some gorgeous new headwear, cool belts and mystical animals.
As for my old pal, Timmy-- he's still in his adorable, non-mutant phase, thank heavens, but he never seems to be normal for too long-- I'm hoping he'll start blossoming into him trademark freakishness next time around. That's it for this week! Remember to vote in our poll to let us know which items you like the best.
19 EI Report: Compass of Seidh, Timmy, Seracila Pendant[]
- Topic EI Report: Compass of Seidh, Timmy, Seracila Pendant - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Mar 19, 2010 4:36 pm
Welcome to the EI Report, guys and girls! Before we get to the evolutions, I've got some big news: this week, we're releasing our third EI Bundle in the Cash Shop! It gives you one last chance to pick up a bunch of popular discontinued EIs, each fully evolved and ready to wear. It includes four great items, plus an exclusive bonus: the Kottan Bell Reunion, a brand-new extension of the classic EI.
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- Inari's Beads
- Gimpi
- Nartian Rock
- Gro-Gain
- Kottan Bell Reunion - Exclusive!
This bundle will only be available for a very, very limited time-- if you're looking to snag one, you'd better act fast!
And, of course, we've got a fine crop of items evolving this week. The Seracila Pendant is getting some brilliantly unusual new garments in lovely red and blacks, and the ever-unpredictable Compass of Seidh has a bunch of cool new garments, including gloves, a hat, leggings, a top and even a cool silver wig.
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Last up, my old buddy Timmy is back with a new update... this time, it seems to be, uh, trapped in a barrel of toxic waste. Not one of my finest moments, exactly, but I did what I had to do, sort of. That's it for this week, but remember to stop by our poll and let us know which items you like best!
To get any of these EIs-- or our new Bundle-- just stop by the Gaia Cash Shop!
26 EI Report: Imaginary Friend, Dappy Dandy[]
- Topic EI Report: Imaginary Friend, Dappy Dandy - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Mar 26, 2010 5:39 pm
Hi, ladies and gents... time for another edifying lesson on all the latest bizarre item biology! This week, we've got two items evolving: the Dappy Dandy is always gorgeous, but its' really hit a new high this week with some outrageously elegant clothing; this week, Dappy is planning to give a gift to the lovely Dahlia after the recent soiree. The Imaginary Friend is getting its very first evolution today, and EI-watchers are sure to be delighted and a little baffled by its first incarnation: Roberto, an odd little red robot.
Have a look at this week's wonderful evolutions:
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That's it for this week! Make sure to stop by next week for more great updates, and don't forget to vote in our weekly poll to let us know which items you like best!
April[]
02 EI Report: Mizuchi's Jewel, Compass of Seidh, Shadowlegend[]
- Topic EI Report: Mizuchi's Jewel, Compass of Seidh, Shadowlegend - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Apr 02, 2010 5:16 pm
Hi there, everyone! I'm sure you're all busy hunting grunny eggs-- they're cute, but they sure do stink to high heaven. In slightly less fragrant news, we've got a particularly fantastic EI update this week.
Shadowlegend brings us another action-packed flurry of ninja insanity-- looks like the young hero and heroine are beginning to come into their own. This week, they've got some iconic costumes and accessories that are sure to please fans. Elsewhere, the Compass of Seidh is seeing a truly inspired evolution with beautiful, versatile new accessories in black and yellow. Last up, Mizuchi's Jewel has another colorful update-- if you were guessing it would feature a giant cucumber, congratulations! You got it right!
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That's it for this week! Before you go, don't forget to stop by our weekly poll and let us know what you think of the new poses. Have a great weekend!
09 EI Report: Seracila Pendant, Timmy[]
- Topic EI Report: Seracila Pendant, Timmy - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Apr 09, 2010 5:11 pm
Ready for the weekend, everyone? Before you crazy kids get out on your ziplines and water-skis, or whatever you do nowadays, how about we take a minute to check out this week's evolving items?
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First up, we've a rather spectacular update to the Seracila Pendant featuring an intense, dark purple color scheme. I can see this being a very sought-after item, since it contains some unique wing poses and a very cool hairstyle.
And, uhh... well, I feel a little awkward showing this one off, since it's not one of the proudest moments in my history, but there's a new update to Timmy. This time, he's still stuck in the barrel of toxic waste that I sort of accidentally trapped him in because he was being annoying, and it's starting to get all warped and messed-up. I think we all know what's going to happen next.
That's all the item for this week, ladies and gentlemen. Make sure you stop by our EI poll to let us know which items you like best!
16 EI Report: Compass of Seidh, Imaginary Friend, Dappy Dandy[]
- Topic EI Report: Compass of Seidh, Imaginary Friend, Dappy Dandy - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Apr 16, 2010 5:01 pm
Welcome to the EI Report, ladies and gentlemen. I hope your Friday is going well-- have you visited Diedrich in the Earth Day Forest yet? Thought I'd interrupt the ecological festivity for a second to give you the latest EI news. We've got three great items evolving this week:
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Dappy Dandy 9th Gen. - The Dandy has always represented the ultimate in highfalutin fashion, but as it nears its final evolution, it's really starting to go over the swingset! This week's update includes some of the ritziest garments ever seen on Gaia.
Imaginary Friend 3rd Gen - I don't really know what to say about this one, ladies and gentlemen. It pretty much speaks for itself, doesn't it? It speaks for itself and I love it.
Compass of Seidh 6th Gen - Another great evolution as the tale of the Compass continues. This week, the bearer of the Compass has been attacked by an unknown dragon while weathering a storm in the desert.
You can get all these great EIs and many more in the Gaia Cash Shop! By the way, don't forget to vote in our weekly EI poll to let us know which ones you like best. Have a great weekend!
23 EI Report: Shadowlegend & Mizuchi's Jewel[]
- Topic EI Report: Shadowlegend & Mizuchi's Jewel - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Apr 23, 2010 2:26 pm
Hey, everyone! It's Friday again, so that means another stroll through the land of evolving items. We've got two excellent evolutions happening this week, including a finale. Let's take a look, shall we?
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Mizuchi's Jewel - It wouldn't be an epic finale without a ton of poses, would it? Look for appearances by a scary turtle lady, an amazing dragon, plus new skins, wigs, kimonos and more.
Shadowlegend - This evolution is packin' one of the most memorable chests in all of kung-fu cinema, plus some... umm... very deadly looking assassin attire.
You can grab either of these great EIs-- and tons of other goodies-- in the Cash Shop! Remember to stop by our weekly EI poll and let us know which items you liked best. See you next Friday!
30 EI Report: Timmy, Compass of Seidh & Dappy Dandy's Finale[]
- Topic EI Report: Timmy, Compass of Seidh & Dappy Dandy's Finale - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Thu Apr 29, 2010 4:58 pm
Pause your Friday revelry for a sec, ladies and gentlemen: it's EI time! We've got four great items to highlight, including a spectacular finale for a popular favorite. Have a look:
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Timmy: Well, this is a little awkward. Remember when I shoved Timmy in that barrel of toxic waste? Well, he seems to be starting his strange mutation this week...
Compass of Seidh: The epic quest of the Compass of Seidh continues-- this week, valkyries have been summoned to fight the menacing wyvern.
Dappy Dandy: Last up, the astounding conclusion to the Dappy Dandy. It's always been a high-class item, but the finale-- in which the heroic Gentleman forever wins his beloved Dahlia.
Hermes' Moon: Aspiration: The super-limited return of Hermes' Moon is almost gone. You've got until Monday to grab this special pack, which gives you either a new fully-unlocked generation of the classic EI or a chance to win the ultra-rare Mercury Moon instead.
You can grab all these EIs and tons of other cool stuff in the Cash Shop! And if you've got a second, please stop by our weekly EI poll and let us know which items you liked best. See you next time!
May[]
06 EI Report: Secret Retreat, Seracila, Imaginary Friend[]
- Topic EI Report: Secret Retreat, Seracila, Imaginary Friend - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Thu May 06, 2010 4:01 pm
Like the beautiful gargoyle emerging from the ugly lizard, the strange biological ballet of evolution goes on! We've got two items evolving this week, plus the the debut of the brand-new Secret Retreat .
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Secret Retreat: New! This mysterious resort caters to the upper crust, but its fancy surface hides a dark secret. If you act fast, you can grab a first-generation Secret Retreat in the Cash Shop... remember: first-gen items get all the newest updates first!
Seracila Pendant: The practical, hard-working Capricorn is represented this week with a set of fantasy businesswear, perfect for a quarterly budget meeting with a minotaur.
Imaginary Friend: Who says two eyes are better than one? Despite their lack of depth perception, the loyalty of giant cyclopean birds is legendary. Grab a beak and tail feathers and prepare to do the funky chicken alongside your fanciful fowl friend.
Scurry on over to grab a first-generation Secret Retreat and plenty of other EIs in the Gaia Cash Shop. Plus, don't forget to stop by the weekly EI poll and let us know which EIs are tickling your awesomebone.
14 EI Report: Compass of Seidh[]
- Topic EI Report: Compass of Seidh - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri May 14, 2010 1:46 pm
Friday's here, and that means it's time for another EI Report. This week's edition is short and sweet, highlighting the latest evolutionary leaps from the Compass of Seidh.
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Compass of Seidh: After the wyvern from the last evolution escaped, our hero encounters Heimdall, legendary gentleman of lore. This generation sports some poses from his mythic wardrobe, including horns, a colorful headband, his signature Gjallarhorn and a whole lot more.
You can grab the Compass and oodles of other great items from the Cash Shop. If you have a moment, be sure to stop by our weekly poll and let us know which EI is your current favorite. See you guys next week!
21 EI Report: Timmy, Shadowlegend[]
- Topic EI Report: Timmy, Shadowlegend - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri May 21, 2010 5:26 pm
Hi, everyone. Hope your Friday is going well so far-- it's about to get better with some awesome EI news! We've got two items evolving today, including my personal favorite: my former sidekick. Have a look:
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Timmy: The poor little fella's mutations are getting more grotesque. This week, he's got some gigantic bushbaby eyes, plus a little screaming mouth.
Shadowlegend: The brutal tale of ninja justice continues! This week, our heroes meet the legendary warriors Saul Badman and Ditzy-- you can claim their attire, which includes some iconic fighting outfits.
You can snag these great EIs and many more from the Cash Shop. If you have a moment, be sure to stop by our weekly poll and let us know which EI you're digging most this week. See you next time!
28 EI Report: Compass of Seidh, Imaginary Friend, Seracila[]
- Topic EI Report: Compass of Seidh, Imaginary Friend, Seracila - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri May 28, 2010 2:08 pm
I don't have to remind you what day it is, ladies and gentlemen-- you've been waiting all week, and it's time for EIs! We've got three items evolving this time around, including the second-to-last Seracila evolution and another strange visit from your Imaginary Friend...
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Seracila Pendant: The Pendant is nearing its final evolution! This week, you can add some dazzle to your avatar with some magical, ethereal garments.
Compass of Seidh: This week, the Compass drapes your avatar in gorgeous white and gold garments, including armlets and anklets and a shimmering golden wand.
Imaginary Friend: Uh oh, looks like Gertie's here. Things always get a little weird when Gertie's around, but at least you can keep yourself amused with some scaly skin and dragon claws.
You can grab these EIs and plenty of other stuff at the Cash Shop. And be sure to vote in our weekly poll and let us know which EI you like the best. Bye, guys!
June[]
04 EI Report: Secret Retreat, Catastrophe![]
- Topic EI Report: Secret Retreat, Catastrophe! - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Jun 04, 2010 5:47 pm
So, is everyone all tensed up with Friday EI expectation? Well, I'm here to relieve the stress with another exciting Evolving Item Report. We've got two updates today, both exciting in their own way: one's the very first evolution of a new item, and one's an unexpected evolution from one of our strangest EIs:
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The Secret Retreat is evolving for the first time! We're starting out our trip to this mysterious resort with some cool accessories, like a ribbon tie and pin, a beach-ready shirt and a classy serving tray.
Catastrophe! is the only evolving item designed and maintained by a cat. It's been pretty slow to evolve, but you know how cats are-- they pretty much lie around all day. This week, look for some adorable new feline poses.
You can grab these EIs and many more in the Cash Shop. Be sure to check out our weekly poll and vote on your favorite EI of the week. Have a great weekend!
09 Cash Shop Update: New Rapid EI - The Mana Seed![]
- Topic Cash Shop Update: New Rapid EI - The Mana Seed! - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Wed Jun 09, 2010 4:13 pm
I've got a major scientific surprise today, guys: not only have I discovered a beautiful new evolving item, it's actually a whole new type of evolving item. How fascinating!
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On a deep jungle expedition, one of our science teams discovered a crystalline Mana Seed. It's quite extraordinary: the moment it's planted, it seems to grow incredibly fast, almost as if it's blessed with some sort of magical property...
The Mana Seed is a Rapid EI. It'll evolve every day until June 18th, when it will be fully evolved and all its poses will be unlocked. On the 18th, the original item will be removed from the Cash Shop, but a fully-evolved "second generation" version will be available from that point on. Act quick to get a first-gen version, which holds more value in the Marketplace!
You can grab the Mana Seed (and lots of other great items) in the Gaia Cash Shop!
Bonus fun! May we interest you in a gorgeous illustration of the Mana Seed?
11 EI Report: Case of Pietro, Timmy, Compass[]
- Topic EI Report: Case of Pietro, Timmy, Compass - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Jun 11, 2010 4:20 pm
Welcome to the EI report, ladies and gents! I'm Dr. Singh, Gaia's resident biologist, and I've got an unusually jam-packed report this week. Not only do we have a brand new item, we've got great updates to four EIs!
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We've got a brand new Rapid EI: the Mana Seed will evolve very quickly, bringing an amazing new pose every day until June 18th.
There's finally been a break in the Case of Pietro! This week, enjoy an ominous black sedan and a selection of hard-hitting brawler garb.
Hey, remember the time little Timmy's mutations caused his strange, pulsing brain to show through his delicate, birdlike skull? Relive that fond memory with this mini-evolution.
The Shadowlegend is back with another healthy dose of ninja vengeance! This week, we've got a terror-inspiring oni mask and a strange cat costume
The Compass of Seidh is getting an incredible new evolution this week, featuring exquisitely detailed black and white fantasy garments. Sure to be a favorite!
You can pick up all these EIs and more in the Gaia Cash Shop! Also, be sure to drop by our weekly EI poll and let us know which items you dig most. See you next week, friends!
18 EI Report: Seracila Pendant, Imaginary Friend, Mana Seed[]
- Topic EI Report: Seracila Pendant, Imaginary Friend, Mana Seed - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Jun 18, 2010 6:21 pm
Ready for the weekend? Me too, but we've got some important business to take care of first: it's EI Report time! We've got three great items evolving this week, including two reaching their amazing finales. Have a look:
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The Seracila Pendant has come to its huge final evolution, complete with some gorgeous new stuff: a glorious cape and belt, some unique hairstyles and much more.
The Imaginary Friend is back for another disturbing encounter! This time, Ba'qirr stops by for a visit, leaving you with all sorts of phenomenally weird, blue-tinted items.
The Mana Seed, our first rapid EI, has been evolving like crazy, and now it's reached its flourishing conclusion. If you missed it the first time, you can grab a fully-unlocked second generation version in the Cash Shop!
You can pick up all these awesome items and many more in the Gaia Cash Shop! Remember to stop by our weekly EI poll and let us know which items you like the best. See you later, folks!
25 EI Report: Compass of Seidh & Secret Retreat[]
- Topic EI Report: Compass of Seidh & Secret Retreat - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Jun 25, 2010 12:59 pm
Hey, everybody! Enjoying the summer? Before you go rushing out to jump in the nearest pool or bog, we have some EI updates to go over. There are two great evolutions this week, so let's take a closer look:
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The Compass of Seidh on a collision course with Loki. Expect some dramatic fashions and accessories straight from the trickster god himself.
Secret Retreat continues on its journey deep into the heart of resort livin'. Aside from some pretty ribbons, there's a new hairstyle, vest, mini-skirt and tray of delicious confections.
If you'd like to get your hands on any of these items, just visit the Cash Shop! And if there's a particular EI that's really hitting the spot for you, stop by the weekly EI poll and let us know!
July[]
02 Timmy[]
- Topic EI Report: Timmy - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Thu Jul 01, 2010 7:54 pm
The upcoming holiday has made for a bit of a slim EI Report this week, but you know there's one little kid who just won't quit: even if everything else falls through, you can always rely on good ol' Timmy to bring us some of his inimitable, irrepressible annoyance. Worry not: we'll be back to the full EI schedule next time around!
Little Timmy never could catch a break. This week, his mutations continue with more adolescent grotesquerie... in this mini-evolution, we recall when the little fellow had a big, gnarly horn growing right out of his skull. It pains me to think I may have sort of been almost partially responsible for his plight... but oh well! Live and learn, right?
You can grab this EI and many more in the Gaia Cash Shop! Don't forget to drop by our weekly poll to let us know which items you like best. See you next time, friends!
07 Cash Shop Update: New Rapid EI - Checkmate[]
- Topic Cash Shop Update: New Rapid EI - Checkmate - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Wed Jul 07, 2010 5:27 pm
Big news, science fans: a brand new Rapid EI is hitting the shops today, so we're in for some exciting, fast-evolving fun:
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Checkmate captures the tense strategy and violent struggle of a chess game. As it begins, a brave pawn makes her first move against the dark forces of the Black King. Who will win? Well, you'll just have to wait and see...
But you won't have to wait long: you may recall that Rapid EIs evolve much faster than traditional EIs. Checkmate will evolve every day until Friday the 16th, when it will become fully unlocked.
Head over to the Cash Shop to grab one today!
And what's this? It appears as though we have a gorgeous illustration from the item's creator:
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09 Shadowlegend, Imaginary Friend & Checkmate[]
- Topic EI Report: Shadowlegend, Imaginary Friend & Checkmate - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Jul 09, 2010 5:20 pm
Hi there, EI lovers! Looks like we've got a really nice crop of EIs to report on this week: Shadowlegend and Imaginary Friend have some intriguing new developments, and Checkmate, our new Rapid EI, is already doing great things.
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The Shadowlegend is getting some menacing new outfit options today, including a fearsome armored ninja golem and some kick-ass Shadowtech stealth gear.
The Imaginary Friend seems to have brought another doubtful guest to your doorstep... this time, a lovely, furred Iendigo named Isabelle will be joining you.
The new Checkmate is living up to its Rapid potential-- it's getting fantastic new chess-themed poses every day! Better grab one while you still can, because the first generation won't stick around forever.
It looks like those waiting for a Compass of Seidh update will be in suspense for a couple more weeks... but my sources tell me something big is coming up, so you won't be disappointed!
You can grab these amazing EIs and plenty of other cool items in the Gaia Cash Shop. And don't forgot to stop by our weekly EI poll to let us know which items you like the best!
16 Secret Retreat, Checkmate[]
- Topic EI Report: Secret Retreat, Checkmate - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Thu Jul 15, 2010 6:55 pm
Happy Friday, EI fans! I've got some very cool stuff to report this week: Secret Retreat has a seductive new evolution, and Checkmate has reached its final stage. Check out how cool they're looking:
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Ooh! Looks like things are heating up at the Secret Retreat... there's definitely a sexy tone to this evolution, which includes some cute lingerie for the ladies and a sexy, toned-up body for the dudes. My heart's aflutter!
The game has ended in Checkmate! White's stalwart defense was no match for Black's tenacity, and the White Queen's crown has been shattered.
To pick up one of these awesome EIs for yourself, just visit the Gaia Cash Shop! There's tons of great stuff over there. Oh, and if you have a second, please stop by our EI poll to let us know which items you like the best. Ciao!
23 Compass of Seidh, Timmy, Case of Pietro[]
- Topic EI Report: Compass of Seidh, Timmy, Case of Pietro - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Thu Jul 22, 2010 6:23 pm
Looks like it's quite an exciting Friday for EI fans! The beloved Compass of Seidh has reached its tremendous final evolution, Timmy is mutating further and the Case of Pietro has taken a new twist!
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The mythic journey of the Compass of Seidh is finally complete! In the end, our heroine meets the gods Odin and Freya and returns the Compass to them. She doesn't come away empty-handed: part of the Compass turns into a wyvern companion!
The Case of Pietro takes a grisly turn this week, allowing you to don a variety of cuts, scrapes and bruises! On a less bloody note, you can also wear the hip hairstyles of the Bartender and Barista who've become mixed up in the mess.
Poor little Timmy had a pretty rough time after that exposure to toxic waste... you'll recall that an awful-looking horn started protruding from his brain at one point, and now it can be yours!
That's it for this week-- but remember to stop by the EI poll and let us know which items you like best. Have a great weekend!
30 Shadowlegend, Imaginary Friend & Forteanagoria[]
- Topic EI Report: Shadowlegend, Imaginary Friend & Forteanagoria - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:33 pm
It's that time again, Evolving Item fans! We've got another exciting report this week, including yesterday's fascinating new item, the grand finale of an old favorite and a new evolution from one of our weirdest EIs ever. Let's have a look:
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You've still got time to grab a first-generation Forteanagoria! Be ready for a close encounter with some of the strangest wonders of the paranormal world.
The thrilling tale of the Shadowlegend has come to its conclusion! This week marks the final evolution, meaning that all previous poses are unlocked, plus something new: the ability to become a living weapon.
Your Imaginary Friend is back for another visit! This time, it takes the form of a friendly violet velociraptor named Velvet. You'll look quite fetching with that feathery skin!
You can grab all these great EIs in the Cash Shop! If you're interested in browsing for some old favorites, though, you'd better act fast-- a bunch of our finest EIs are about to be out of stock! On Friday, August 6th, the following EIs will leave the Cash Shop:
- Noel's Gift
- Mizuchi's Jewel
- Dappy Dandy
- Seracila Pendant
- Compass of Seidh
That's about all for this week, ladies and gents. Before you go, be sure to stop by and vote in our weekly EI poll. Have a great weekend!
August[]
03 New Rapid EI: Pistolera[]
- Topic New Rapid EI: Pistolera - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Tue Aug 03, 2010 6:54 pm
A brand-new Rapid EI has emerged on the scene: Pistolera promises to deliver loads of explosive action and mayhem. As a scientist, consider my interest piqued.
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Out of the ashes of war and devastation, a new legend begins. Pistolera tells the story of a young heroine taking a stand against evil, and her transformation from bumbling warrior to sharp-shooting badass.
You can grab a first-generation Pistolera right now in the Cash Shop. The story will be unfolding fast, with new evolutions coming every Tuesday and Friday. Once it finishes evolving, you'll be able to grab a fully unlocked second generation.
As a special bonus, here's an enticing piece of Pistolera art from Fayren Pickpocket:
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06 Pistolera, Secret Retreat[]
- Topic EI Report: Pistolera, Secret Retreat - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Thu Aug 05, 2010 5:01 pm
Hi there, EI fans! I just wanted to drop in with a quick report, because we've got two awesome items evolving-- including our new Rapid EI!
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The action is heating up with Pistolera-- our hero seems to have accepted a quest from a rough-looking farmer. Perhaps you'll get to put those guns to good use.
It's another wild night at the Secret Retreat! In this week's mysterious episode, you notice something unusual as you gaze at your reflection in the mirror...
That's it for this week, ladies and gentlemen-- to pick up one of these items, just stop by the Cash Shop. But before you go, remember to stop by and vote in our weekly poll!
13 Pistolera, Forteanagoria & Timmy[]
- Topic EI Report: Pistolera, Forteanagoria & Timmy - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Aug 13, 2010 4:34 pm
Hi there, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the Evolving Item Report, your weekly source for all the latest on your favorite items. This week, we've got three interesting new developments. Take a look:
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The terrible saga of Timmy continues with a new pose: remember the time his evil mutations caused him to start slowly ingesting my arm like a snake trying to eat a gopher?
This week, Forteanagoria explores the strange phenomenon of crop circles! Not only are they showing up in fields, they seem to be appearing as unexplained tattoos on your body...
If you were hoping for more badass gear from Pistolera, you're definitely in luck. If you were also hoping for a little red-striped miniature warthog buddy, you're both in luck and strangely prescient.
You can grab all these great EIs now in the Gaia Cash Shop! Before you get your weekend business underway, be sure to stop by our weekly EI poll and let us know which items you like the most this week. Until next time, friends!
20 Pistolera & Imaginary Friend[]
- Topic EI Report: Pistolera & Imaginary Friend - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Aug 20, 2010 6:21 pm
Hi again, ladies and gentlemen! If you're not too busy packing and preparing for your treacherous airship expeditions into the Frontier Skies, let's take a minute to catch up on the latest EI news. We've got two items evolving today:
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This week's Pistolera evolution once again thrusts you into unexpected danger-- in addition to some great new gear, it's also a powerful reminder that not all loot is to be trusted.
The Imaginary Friend has dropped by for another unexpected visit! This week, it takes the form of a pompous pink poodle named Pavlov-- naturally, you can wear some glorious fluffy poodle hair.
You can grab these sweet EIs (and plenty more cool stuff) in the Cash Shop! Also, we'd be much obliged if you could stop by our EI poll and let us know which items you like best. Thanks, and good luck on your upcoming journey!
27 Secret Retreat and Pistolera[]
- Topic Evolving Item Report - Secret Retreat and Pistolera - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Aug 27, 2010 4:50 pm
Ready for some science, ladies and gentlemen? Good! Welcome to the Evolving Item Report, where the world's foremost biologist-- yours truly-- fills you in on the latest developments of Gaia's most volatile and unpredictable items. We've got two great updates this week, so let's get right in there:
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It's another strange lost weekend at the Secret Retreat. After the bizarre events that transpired last time, it looks like two mysterious hooded figures have shown up... only time will tell what this is all about!
The action-packed finale of Pistolera is upon us! In its final form, you'll see all the exciting accessories from previous weeks unlocked, plus level up with a bunch of fantastic new firepower and gear.
You can grab these EIs and many more in the Gaia Cash Shop! As always, we'd love it if you could find time to visit the weekly EI poll and let us know which items you like best. Thanks, and see you next time!
30 Cash Shop Update: New Rapid EI - Lumiere Noire[]
- Topic Cash Shop Update: New Rapid EI - Lumiere Noire - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Mon Aug 30, 2010 7:33 pm
Big news, ladies and gentlemen: we've got a brand new Rapid EI hitting the Cash Shop today, and it harnesses no less an elemental force than love itself! How exciting is that, huh? Let's get a look at this thing:
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Lumiere Noire is a timeless tale of romance-- is the love of our young heroes strong enough to overcome all obstacles and persevere forever? Only time will tell...
Since this is a Rapid EI, the story will unfold a little more quickly than usual. Starting this Friday, Lumiere Noire will evolve every Tuesday and Friday. You can grab one now in the Gaia Cash Shop!
But wait! We've also got this lovely illustration from the item's creator:
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September[]
03 Forteanagoria, Timmy & Lumiere Noire[]
- Topic EI Report: Forteanagoria, Timmy & Lumiere Noire - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Thu Sep 02, 2010 4:24 pm
Science never sleeps, ladies and gentleman, so we're here around the clock to monitor the latest developments. This week our observations have turned up new evolutions in Forteanagoria, Timmy and the Rapid EI Lumiere Noire.
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This week Forteanagoria takes you deep into the forest primeval, where a legendary lost species of humanoids is looking for friendship-- and more. It is truly an astounding day for science to confirm the existence of these majestic, amorous creatures.
My old friend Timmy continues to work his way up your arm, consuming flesh and bone like a child-shaped pencil sharpener. This was from a pretty creepy phase of Timmy's life, but I can't help feeling partly responsible. This one brings back some painful memories-- my arm suddenly feels weird-- so let's move on.
Tension mounts in Lumiere Noire as Lumiere attempts to disguise himself, hoping to sneak into a ball. Will his ruse bring home closer to his love, or will he be discovered, unmasked and punished? Check back next week for another chapter in this love story.
You can pick up these delightfully macabre EIs in the Cash Shop, along with marvelous items for all occasions. We always want to know which EIs you like best, so stop by the weekly poll and give us an earful before Timmy chews his way up to the side of our head.
10 Imaginary Friend & Lumiere Noire[]
- Topic EI Report: Imaginary Friend & Lumiere Noire - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Thu Sep 09, 2010 6:42 pm
Welcome to the Evolving Item Report, friends! Time for another in-depth look at all the strange developments in the world of EI science. Looks like we've got two great items evolving this week, including a dramatic finale! Let's take a closer look:
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Your Imaginary Friend is reaching its stunning conclusion this week! In the fantastic finale, all the previous incarnations of your strange companion come back for one last visit-- of course, they've brought some stunning gifts with them. You can also combine their chromatic splendor into some dazzling rainbow items!
The romantic saga of the Lumiere Noire is really starting to flourish. This week our lovers seem as happy as ever, but my background in the science of love tells me it won't last. Could tragedy be around the corner?
You can grab these items and many more in the Gaia Cash Shop! Before you go, don't forget to stop by our weekly EI poll to let us know which items you like best. Have a great weekend, everyone!
17 Lumiere Noire & Secret Retreat Mini-Evolution[]
- Topic EI Report: Lumiere Noire & Secret Retreat Mini-Evolution - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Sep 17, 2010 4:59 pm
Happy Friday, science fans! We're heading into this well-earned weekend with a brief but dramatic update. Let's take a look, shall we?
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Things take a turn for the tragic with Lumiere Noire. Lumiere, believing Noire to be dead, takes drastic action and poisons himself. Noire then awakens to find her lover dead, and decides to join him. Depressing stuff, but thankfully the poses are beautiful.
Big things are in store for Secret Retreat's upcoming finale, so the artist was kind enough to provide a lovely little mini-evolution to hold you over until then.
You can grab both of these items-- and many others-- from the Cash Shop. While I've got your attention, please take a moment to vote in our weekly poll and let us know which EI is your current favorite. Have a great weekend, everybody!
24 Forteanagoria, Timmy & Lumiere Noire[]
- Topic EI Report: Forteanagoria, Timmy & Lumiere Noire - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Thu Sep 23, 2010 4:23 pm
Happy Friday, ladies and gents! I'm Dr. Singh, Gaia's preeminent biologist, and this is the Evolving Item Report, your weekly wrap-up of all the latest news in the strange world of evolving items. We've got three incredible new developments this week, so let's get right in there:
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This week brings the bittersweet finale of Lumiere Noire: alas, it seems that dark and light cannot share the sky, and our lovers could not escape their fate. But they'll always be in each other's hearts, as the sunshine casts shadows and the moonlight illuminates the dark.
More paranormal events are popping up in the realm of Forteanagoria. This week, a pair of strange visitors bring eerie tidings: watch out for a creepy Mothman and the mysterious Mr. Cold.
Last up, my little mutant buddy Timmy has another mini-evolution today. Looks like he's continuing to devour your arm like a snake eating a gopher-- he's almost up to the shoulder joint! Yecch!
That's all for this week, friends! Before you take off, be sure to stop by our weekly EI poll and let us know which items you like best. You can grab all these great items and many more in the Gaia Cash Shop:
Heads up! Some of our favorite EIs will be leaving the shop soon! If you're looking to pick up Pistolera, Checkmate, Mana Seed, Shadowlegend or the Imaginary Friend, you'll need to do it before Tuesday, September 28th. Don't miss out!
Oh! We've got one last surprise this week: a beautiful piece of Lumiere Noire artwork from one of Gaia's artists!
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October[]
01 Apprentice Charm & Secret Retreat[]
- Topic EI Report: Apprentice Charm & Secret Retreat - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Oct 01, 2010 4:51 pm
Welcome to the Evolving Item Report, ladies and gentlemen! It's an awfully exciting week in the world of EI science: not only is one of our most mysterious items reaching its surprising climax, but I have the rare pleasure of announcing a brand-new Rapid EI!
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New! The Apprentice Charm is a new Rapid EI from the creator of Pistolera and Lumiere Noire. It tells the tale of a novice white witch and her adorable familiar, Bumble. They've got the best intentions at heart, but their attempts at magic always seem to backfire.
The strange saga of the Secret Retreat comes to an end today! The Retreat's true owners have been revealed, along with their shocking motivation. The alluring twins lure beautiful souls to their pleasure palace and provide for their every whim... and you, dear guest, are the newest addition to their human collection, forever silently enshrined in their twisted menagerie.
You can pick up the new Apprentice Charm today in the Gaia Cash Shop-- and don't miss your chance to pick up the Secret Retreat before it closes forever! Before you go, be sure to stop by our weekly EI poll and let us know which items you like best. Have a great weekend!
Oh, and we've got one more special treat for you: a cool illustration of the new Rapid EI!
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08 Apprentice Charm[]
- Topic EI Report: Apprentice Charm - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Oct 01, 2010 4:51 pm
Merry Fridaysmas, ladies and gents! It's a bit of a light Evolving Item Report this week-- Gaia's artists are cooking up a surprise for later in the day-- but we do have a great new update to our newest Rapid EI. Have a look!
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More magical mishaps are in store for the Apprentice Charm. This time, our witchy hero has pulled a magic wand from deep within her sleeve, and she's getting ready to try her hand at casting a spell... I hope she's been studying her lessons, or this won't turn out well!
You can grab the Apprentice Charm and many other great items in the Gaia Cash Shop! Before you head out, please stop by our weekly EI poll and let us know which items you like best. Bye bye, everyone!
15 Apprentice Charm & Forteanagoria[]
- Topic EI Report: Apprentice Charm & Forteanagoria - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Thu Oct 14, 2010 7:37 pm
Welcome to the EI Report, ladies and gentlemen! I'm your host, Dr. Singh, and here's what's up this week in the strange world of those ever-changing oddities we call Evolving Items. We've got some great ones up this time around:
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More magical mishaps are in store with this week's update of the Apprentice Charm. A levitation spell backfires, leaving poor Bumble a mess. Hopefully our titular apprentice gets it right next time.
Another strange encounter from Forteanagoria: this week, the infamous Men in Black are here for a visit, and they're probably not too keen on your paranormal snooping.
You can grab these great items and many more in the Gaia Cash Shop! Before you go, we'd love it if you could drop by our weekly poll and let us know which EIs are your favorites. Have a great weekend, friends!
22 Case of Pietro, Timmy, Apprentice Charm[]
- Topic EI Report: Case of Pietro, Timmy, Apprentice Charm - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Oct 22, 2010 5:29 pm
Welcome to the Evolving Item Report, ladies and gents! I hope you're not to creeped out by all these ghostly visitors to properly enjoy what I'm about to lay down, because we've got some incredible stuff going on this week: a long-awaited update, a spectacular finale and a visit from our old friend Timmy!
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The plot thickens in the Case of Pietro! This week, with the thief in tow, the detective tracks the Case to a canceled match, where a riot is developing over the missing top brawler...
Little Timmy isn't looking so hot this week. He seems to be continuing his descent into horrific mutant terror, the poor little fella-- but, hey, at least he's finally achieved his dream of becoming an evolving item.
The Apprentice Charm is finishing up this week! In the final update for this popular Rapid EI, things are finally working better: the levitation spell has succeeded, and we have achieved broom liftoff. Bumble is somewhere around... it's time to go try more spells!
You can get all of these EIs in the Gaia Cash Shop, along with plenty of other great stuff. Oh! And before you forget, please pop in the weekly EI poll and let us know which items you like best. Ciao, friends!
29 Owlpocalypse[]
- Topic EI Report: Owlpocalypse! - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Oct 29, 2010 5:30 pm
Hi, everyone! Hope you're having a fine start to you Halloween weekend, despite the ghostly menace that's currently plaguing us-- but the EI Report show must go on! It's an unusually light one this week due to the holiday rush, but we do have a cute surprise...
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New! The Owlpocalypse is upon us! From Gaia's most owl-obsessed artist comes this celebration of all things owlish; this strange item doesn't update with the regularity of most EIs-- it will be evolving all willy-nilly, with new poses randomly popping up here and there.
You can grab the new Owlpocalypse now in the Cash Shop, or browse around for plenty of other neat stuff. And be sure to stop by our weekly EI poll, as usual! Have a great Halloween, everybody!
November[]
05 Forteanagoria & Anesidora's Woe[]
- Topic EI Report: Forteanagoria & Anesidora's Woe - Posted: [NPC] Evil Timmy Fri Nov 05, 2010 4:30 pm
Hola, cats and kittens! Been a while, ain't it? Perhaps you remember your old pal T-Bone, popularly known by squares as "Evil Timmy" on account of some of my less savory actions. Edmund's had me under house arrest for a little while due to my alleged evilness, but I've paroled myself on my own recognizance by chewing off my ankle bracelet, you dig?
Dr. Singh couldn't make it to the show this week, possibly because I had my boy Labtech Gene call her up and tell her she had "bone hepatitis" and needed expensive treatments immediately. Big props to Large G for the assist; never change, hairbaby. So, looks like I'll be hosting this shindig for now.
Welcome, guys and dolls, to the triumphant return of T-Bone's Evolving Item Report and Smooth Jazz Countdown.
First, let's get the items outta the way so we can get to the real important Smooth Jazz meat and potatoes of this affair, you dig? We've got one item doing its crazy jive this week, plus another brand new item. Feast your eyes, babies:
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New! This Rapid EI tells the tale of Anesidora's Woe: if you see a sinister-looking box that might unleash a whole lot of trouble when it's opened, it seems like a good idea to leave it alone. But what are the odds of that happening? We'll find out soon as this EI speeds through its evolutionary life!
This week, the Forteanagoria returns with a host of creepy new cryptids from around the world. Expect a visit from the winged Ropen, the water-dwelling Mokele-Mbembe and the legendary Chupacabra!
If you wanna cop these fine little items, you can go visit that fine little item Flynn in the Gaia Cash Sh-- wait, what? The producers are trying to lay some jive on me about Flynn being exiled to space. So, yeah: just go see whoever runs the Cash Shop nowadays and tell 'em T-Bone sent you-- if they don't know me, they ain't worth knowing. And don't forget to vote in the weekly EI poll, you dig?
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And now, without further interruption, let's get down to the Smooth Jazz. Babies, despite his incarcerationary unfortunateness, your boy T-Bone hasn't lost one iota of his commitment to the Smooth Jazz Lifestyle. I've got the mellowness of a thousand saxophones running through my veins day and night, my friends, and we will now devote a few minutes to celebrating the most evi-- I mean, uh, smooth music in the world. You ready? Boys, you got your turtlenecks on? Yeah. Let's dig the countdown.
- 5. Chocolate Cake Supreme - Glacier Memories | Awwwwww yeaaaah. This is the real smoothness, people. You should need a prescription for this level of smoothness, you dig? May cause drowsiness... sexy drowsiness.
- 4. Whipsy Fauntleroy - Sensual Candlewax (The Hovercraft Song) | I'll tell you what, kids: if I had a hovercraft-- and I'll have one someday, I promise you that-- I would bump this jam nonstop during my swamp adventures and my bearskin interludes of hovercraft sensualness.
- 3. Benny Musk - Hot Lobsters | Hot new entry! Numero tres with a bullet! Dang, kittens, you can practically smell the cognac and cologne oozing out of this one. Genuine class, like a fresh pair of spats. I can dig this, and I only ask that you do the same.
- 2. Raoul Champagne - Butt Connection | Leave it to the smooth jazz genius of my good friend Raoul-- author of the classic "Teatime For Ya Butt"-- to find an entirely new way to use the word "butt" in the title of a song. My respect to you, Raoul.
- 1. Cassius LaFontaine - Let Me Put My Love Into There | Rest in peace, baby. Cass has been gone for some time, but it still hurts. It hurts so, so bad. But he was a man of visionary foresight, and he had the genius to record over sixty albums worth of the smoothest jazz any man could hope to... could hope to... I'm getting a little choked up, cats and kittens. I better take my leave for the week. Cassisus, you smooth angel? Can you hear me, baby? Play 'em off, wherever you are.
12 Timmy & Anesidora's Woe[]
- Topic EI Report: Timmy & Anesidora's Woe - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Thu Nov 11, 2010 7:36 pm
Is it Friday already? Wow, time really flew while I was getting those weird medical treatments from Labtech Gene-- he said I'd contracted "blood hepatitis" from eating an old man's tooth, which I don't even remember doing, then he put me in a "medical coma" for a week. Science sure is complicated, huh? That's why you need a biological expert like me to fill you in on the latest Evolving Item news! We've got two of 'em evolving this week:
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Our new Rapid EI, Anesidora's Woe, is moving right along: this week, the box is opened, releasing a shadowy figure from his binds. His strange vestments are revealed, including an enchanted cloak sewn of pure despair.
Our little pal Timmy is back-- after his long and troubling mutation, Edmund performed elaborate un-mutation surgery on him. The little guy seems to be recovering well, though he's still confined to his hospital wheelchair.
You can grab these EIs and tons of other cool stuff in the Gaia Cash Shop! Before you go, be sure to stop by our weekly poll and let us know which items you like the best. See you next time, ladies and gentlemen-- unless more baffling medical conditions befall me!
19 Deinocti's Oath & Anesidora's Woe[]
- Topic EI Report: Deinocti's Oath & Anesidora's Woe - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Nov 19, 2010 3:42 pm
Welcome to the Evolving Item Report, everyone! I'm your host, Dr. Singh, and here' sall the latest on your favorite items. We've got a brand new one this week, plus an evolution from one of our Rapid EIs! Let's have a look:
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New! Those who take Deinocti's Oath commit themselves to a life in the shadows. With this new Rapid EI, you'll find yourself rising through the ranks of a dark syndicate of assassins and mercenaries.
Now that the mysterious box has opened, Anesidora's Woe is releasing more of Amartia's sinister belongings, including a transforming keyblade and a demonic arm guard.
You can pick up these great EIs and many more cool items at the Gaia Cash Shop-- and don't forget to stop by this week's poll and let us know which items you like the best. See you next week, friends!
24 Deinocti's Oath, Anesidora's Woe & Forteanagoria[]
- Topic EI Report: Deinocti's Oath, Anesidora's Woe & Forteanagoria - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Wed Nov 24, 2010 3:04 pm
Hey there, friends! I know it's only Wednesday, but due to the upcoming holiday I'll be hosting a special early edition of the Evolving Item Report. Despite the earliness, it's just as jam-packed as ever with EI goodness. We've got three items evolving this week, including the finale of one of our Rapid EIs!
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The paranormal thrills of Forteanagoria just keep coming! This week, we're getting a terrifying visit from the legendary Jersey Devil and the slightly more obscure (but no less spine-chilling) Flatwoods Monster.
Those who've taken Deinocti's Oath are further rewarded for their dark loyalty: you're rising fast through the ranks of the syndicate, and you've been issued some deadly new equipment.
Anesidora's Woe reaches its conclusion this week! The wicked Amartia is fully released and begins to unleash havoc, but the noble Elpis is summoned with a prayer and locks Amartia away with a silver key. The grand finale includes Elpis' outfit, plus some winged accessories.
That's all for this episode, ladies and gentlemen! Enjoy your week, and be sure to gorge yourself on gravy as much as humanly possible. You can get all the aforementioned items in the Gaia Cash Shop, so be sure to pop in soon-- and don't forget to vote in our weekly EI poll. Ciao!
December[]
03 Deinocti's Oath, Timmy and Sugarsuite[]
- Topic EI Report: Deinocti's Oath, Timmy and Sugarsuite - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Dec 03, 2010 4:29 pm
Welcome to the EI Report, ladies and gents-- it’s another exciting Friday in the world of Evolving Items! In this edition, we’ve go evolutions from an old friend and a sinister newcomer, plus a brand-new Rapid EI making its sweet debut. Let’s get down to it, shall we?
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New! The delectable Sugarsuite is your invitation to the land of Confiturembourg, where the king and queen have invited you to witness delicious displays by performers from all around the Land of Sweets. This week, a cute mouse attendant has brought you a tray of indigenous sweets...
Another week of dirty Syndicate work for those who took Deinocti's Oath. Each new mission requires new tools, so expect some new additions to your increasingly deadly arsenal.
That little scamp Timmy is reliving some of his darkest days: after the toxic evil was removed from his body, it crept back into his room and took him over once again... this time, in a much more insidious, mustachioed manner. In fact, I think Evil Timmy is still out there somewhere...
That’s it for this week, friends! Head over to the Cash Shop to grab the new Sugarsuite for yourself (or a friend). And don’t forget to vote in our weekly EI poll and let us know which items are your favorites!
10 Deinocti's Oath, Sugarsuite[]
- Topic EI Report: Deinocti's Oath, Sugarsuite - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Dec 10, 2010 5:30 pm
Wow, is it Friday already? The weeks just fly by when you've got so much exciting evolving item research to do. Time for another EI Report, your weekly source for all the latest on your favorite items! We've got two items evolving today: the first evolution for a new item, plus the grand finale of a Rapid EI!
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The Sugarsuite gets its first update today, and it doesn't disappoint in the deliciousness department. Dancers from far off lands have come to entertain you, bringing with them delightful gifts: accessories of the finest chocolate, and a coffee-colored scarf and bloomers.
It's the final evolution for Deinocti's Oath! You've reached the highest rank in the dark syndicate, and you've been handsomely rewarded: you'll receive the final pieces of your mercenary arsenal, plus a loyal fox familiar!
You can grab these fantastic EIs and plenty of other cool items in the Gaia Cash Shop! Also, don't forget to stop by our weekly EI poll to let us know which items you like the best. Have a great weekend!
17 New Bundle, Sugarsuite, Forteanagoria & Antique[]
- Topic EI Report: New Bundle, Sugarsuite, Forteanagoria & Antique - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Fri Dec 17, 2010 5:53 pm
Hi, everyone! Happy Friday, and happy holidays, too-- I hope you've all been keeping an eye on Santa, since it looks like he's getting himself into trouble again. But if you'll take your eyes off him for a moment and direct your attention to the world of Evolving Items, we've got a bunch of great stuff going on today: three items evolving, plus a brand-new bundle!
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Two dazzling new acts from Sugarsuite! First, the third act brings tea dancers with decorative swords. The fourth act brings more sweetness, including a candy cane cape.
This week in the Antique Shop, you find a mysterious ship in a bottle. It smells like salty air, and its sails almost appear to ripple in a phantom breeze. It brings to mind the old days of seafaring armadas and the discovery of new lands...
Forteanagoria blows the whistle on the vast lizard-person conspiracy that holds our planet in a death grip of reptilian terror. I hate to editorialize, but this lizard person invasion is 100% real, and even now they're plotting domination from their hidden bases in the planet's hollow core, so please take this item seriously.
New! Exciting news: we're releasing Rapid EI Bundle #1 today! This value-packed bundle gives you fully-evolved versions of Mana Seed, Lumiere Noire and Apprentice Charm, plus the exclusive Checkmate Void-- a black and white recolor of Checkmate!
You can grab all kinds of awesome items-- including the brand new Rapid EI Bundle-- in the Gaia Cash Shop! Before you go, be sure to stop by our weekly EI poll and let us know which items you like best. See you next week, everyone!
23 Sugarsuite's Finale[]
- Topic EI Report: Sugarsuite's Finale! - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Wed Dec 22, 2010 4:39 pm
Welcome to the EI Report, ladies and gentlemen! I hope you're enjoying the holidays-- you've been doing a great job keeping Santa from blowing up-- but let's take a quick break to see what's up in the world of evolving items.
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It's the flavorful finale of Sugarsuite! This week, the Queen Fairy and her Cavalier perform a beautiful pas de deux, giving you elegant ballet stances and royal garments glittering with crystalline sugar.
That's all for this week, friends! Have a wonderful weekend, and be sure to stop by our weekly poll to let us know which items you like the best. If you want to do some last-minute holiday shopping, check out the Gaia Cash Shop-- I'm sure your friends would love to find some EIs in their stockings!
30 Antique Shop[]
- Topic EI Report: Antique Shop - Posted: [NPC] Dr. Singh Wed Dec 29, 2010 4:43 pm
Happy New Year, ladies and gents! It's Evolving Item time once again! This week, we've got another great update to one of our most unique and exciting EIs:
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The Antique Shop is run by a rotating staff of Gaia's greatest Evolving Item creators. This week, Mishiri takes the helm-- you've discovered an old medallion among the shop's wares, which transports you back to a time of war...
That's it for this edition! Remember to stop by our weekly poll to let us know which items you like the best. To grab the Antique Shop for yourself, head over to the Cash Shop!