The prosecution may call its first witness of the day.
I call Bucho to the stand.
Please state your name and occupation for the court record.
My name is Bucho. I am head of security for Gambino family.
I see. So you were in charge of security on the night in question?
Affirmative. That night, master Gino ask me to open mansion doors for celebration in honor of his late father, Johnny K. Gambino.
You were also in charge of the investigation following the mansion's burning?
Affirmative.
What did you find?
I have security camera footage of defendant.
I see.
~The prosecution submits Exhibit A.
What is it that we are looking at here?
It is Ian running away from scene of crime.
And how is it that you can tell it is the defendant, Ian?
As can see, I have magnified parts of feed and it is clear this is Ian. Look at funny hat with leaf and look clothing. It is unmistakeable that this is Ian.
While I am inclined to believe you, what with being head of security for over 10 years, might you have any forensic evidence? I mean, what if someone were to masquerade as Ian? though I highly doubt it...
I also find evidence inside of mansion which proves Ian was there.
~The prosecution submits Exhibit B.
And what is it that we are looking at here?
We recovered burnt bottle of pills.
And how does this bottle of pills prove that Ian was there?
On bottle, I find fingerprint matching the defendant, Ian.
Interesting. And where did you find these pills?
Inside of mansion, near back exit.
Was that part of the mansion opened up to the public that night?
Negative. Guests were only allowed in mansion hall. No one was supposed to be there.
So are you saying that Ian somehow gained access to the mansion where he was not supposed to be? And was later seen fleeing the crime scene?
Affirmative.
Thank you, Bucho. I have no further questions.
Bucho: DefenseBot[]
Defensebot, your witness.
Your designation is Bucho. You claim to be in charge of security for the Gambino family?
Affirmative. For over a decade.
Do you possess any visual information pertaining to the actual act of the incendiary process?
... I do not comprehend the question.
Pardon me. *clang clang* Let me rephrase the question. Do you "have any actual footage of the defendant starting the fire?"
Negative. But him fleeing the crime is pretty suspicious, no?
I understand that you were also in charge of security for 2k4's Halloween Bash at the Gambino mansion?
Affirmative.
Is it not true that that event also ended in a disaster?
Nothing that could not be contained.
A low yield nuclear blast is not exactly something someone would do if something could be contained, sir.
Why I--
Can you explain to the court how come a trusted head of security is able to screw up the simple process of "security" year after year resulting in thousands of deaths?
You need to stop little bot if you don't want to get hurt.
ORDER! ORDER!!
How is it that you are still head of security after FAILING to do your job year after year?
I will KILL you little bot.
ORDER! ORDER!! That's it, security, take Bucho off of the stand!
I'll be BACK.
Geebus: ProsecutionBot[]
The prosecution may call its next witness.
The prosecution calls Geebus to the stand.
Please state your name and occupation for the court record.
I am Geebus, head butler of the Gambino Estate.
Could you please explain to the court what happened on the night of the New Year's celebration in the Gambino Mansion in Durem?
The defendant, Ian, tried to enter the mansion with his feline, sir.
Did you let him enter?
Well, no sir. There is a strict non-animal policy in the mansion hall. I simply told him he could not enter with his feline.
How did the defendant react?
Well, look at me! He assaulted me, sir. If you ask Geebus, that was quite uncalled for.
What were the injuries inflicted upon you by the defendant?
I have a sprained neck and my jaw had to be wired, sir.
Thank you, Geebus. That is all.
Geebus: DefenseBot[]
Defensebot, you may begin the cross examination.
Your designation is Geebus, the head butler of the Gambino Estate.
If you ask Geebus, I'd say you were correct, sir.
*clang clang* Excuse me, but isn't your designation, Geebus?
Yes, and I'm telling you that you are correct, sir, if you ask Geebus.
*clang clang* ask ... Geebus ... *clang clang*
I said, I am Geebus, sir.
*clang clang* Redundant Memory Error ...
ORDER! ORDER!!
DefenseBot malfunction[]
Shocking! Defensebot 513A has malfunctioned! The techs are currently working to fix the problem. The judge has relieved Geebus until then...
*UPDATE*
The techs have successfully rebooted DefenseBot 513A and he is working normally now.
I believe that is all for the prosecution witnesses. The defense will now start calling their witnesses.
Trial of Ian-Day 2[]
Leon: DefenseBot[]
The defense may now call its first witness.
The defense would like to call Leon to the stand.
Please verbally state your designation and occupation for entry into the court record database.
Name's Leon. I patrol and guard Barton and, in my spare time, I run the Gaia Guild Registry.
How have you come into acquaintance with the defendant?
I know everyone in Barton. That's my job.
What is your opinion of Ian?
He's an upstanding chap. Gives me deals in his boutique. I like him.
Do you think Ian is capable of the crime in question?
Nah. Ian's not the physical type. He's kinda spastic sometimes, but that's just cause he's weird. He's not a bad guy though.
Thank you, Leon. End sequence of questioning.
Leon: ProsecutionBot[]
ProsecutionBot, your witness.
So you run the Gaia Guild Registry? I take it this means that you are very aware of what's going on in the Gaian community?
Um ... of course.
You said it yourself, you run the Guild Registry in your SPARE time and yet you expect the jury to believe that you are intouch with the community when you spend all of your time patrolling Barton?
Well ... um, yeah.
Can you please tell the court what "G-Team" is?
Um ... I'd rather not talk about it. No one is supposed to know about that.
Well then, let me explain it for you. This G-Team is a little club you run with two other washed up old men as you masquerade as "superheroes" trying to save Gaia.
Well, I ...
And so here we have it, Leon-- a full-time Barton Patrolman, a part-time Guild Registry Manager AND a full-time SUPERhero?! Come now, Leon. Do you honestly expect us to believe that you have any time to really get to know anyone in the community?
Um ...
Were you EVEN aware that there are tons of anti-Ian threads all around Town? Did you know that there are anti-Ian guilds in the registry?
Well, no... not really.
NOT REALLY ... is what you say. NOT REALLY, indeed. I have no further questions.
Leon, you may step down.
Moira: DefenseBot[]
Defensebot, please call your next witness.
The defense would like to call Moira to the stand.
Please verbally state your designation and occupation for entry into the court record database.
I'm Moira. I run the Durem Depot where we sell all the alternative styles of clothing in Gaia.
How is it that you are acquainted with the defendant, Ian?
I know him through our mutual friend, Sasha. We all hangout every now and then.
I take it that you are well acquainted with the defendant then. What is your opinion of Ian?
Well, he's got not clue when it comes to women that's for sure. But he's a harmless guy. Like most guys, non-aggro ... never knowing how to express themselves and their emotions. Know what I mean?
I do not comprehend. Do you think the defendant is capable of the crime he is being accused of?
Nah, Ian can be kind of spastic sometimes, but as I said before... he's non-aggro. Will probably end up living with cats when he's old an gray. No offense, Ian. Just calling it like I see it.
Thank you, Moira. End sequence of questioning.
Moira: ProsecutionBot[]
ProsecutionBot, your witness.
Moira, you seem to be pretty knowledgeable about relationships and the feelings of people in your circle.
Well, yeah. I can read people pretty good. I got a lot of street smarts.
Then you must've known about Ian's feelings for Sasha.
Duh! Who didn't know about that?
Apparently Sasha didn't, but anyways, have you noticed Ian acting differently ever since Gino came into the picture?
Well, yeah, I'd be upset too if some broad was jocking on my man.
Are you implying that Ian was, in fact, jealous of Gino Gambino?
Well, yeah. But I don't think he would ever do any--
Isn't it true that Ian has gotten progressively MORE violent since Sasha started showing an interest in Gino Gambino?
Well, sure but still, I think that's only natural when someone doesn't know how to deal with their feelings ... I mean--
YES or NO. Did Ian get more violent since Gino Gambino came into the picture?
... yes.
Thank you, Moira. No further questions.
Moira, you may step down from the stand.
Rufus: DefenseBot[]
Defensebot, please call your next witness.
The defense would like to call Rufus to the stand.
Please verbally state your designation and occupation for entry into the court record database.
woof~!
Your designation is woof~!?
No, my "designation" is Rufus. I help manage the Barton Boutique with my owner, Ian.
So, you are a "talking cat"?
Yes, sir! I'm the last of my kind actually. I come from a long line of talking cats that lived with Ian's family tree.
You've been acquainted with Ian for an extended period of time?
Raised him myself. Well, we've grown up together like family.
I take it that you would know Ian the best out of everyone?
Better than his mom knows him.
Do you think that Ian is capable of the crime he is accused of?
Of course not, Ian can be a little spastic sometimes, but that's just how he is. Ian has treated me well, he would never do anything to harm anyone. Trust me.
Thank you, Rufus the cat. End sequence of questioning.
Rufus: ProsecutionBot[]
The prosecution may start the cross examination.
Rufus ... the CAT. Am I correct?
Woof~! Yes, I am a cat, sir.
Then tell me, Rufus the CAT... if you are a indeed a cat... why is it that you bark like a DOG?!
I ... don't know. I've always barked since I was little...
Do you expect the court to believe anything a "talking cat who barks like a dog" says? That's INSANE.
What's not to bel--
No further questions your honor.
Rufus, you may step down. That does it for today's testimonies. We will reconvene tomorrow. Court is adjourned.