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PIE HARDEdit

Rina’s holding a massive pie-eating tournament! In the qualifying round, the hopeful contestants will need to stretch their eating abilities to the limits. To help your favorite contestants make it through to the finals, stuff them full of pies to expand their stomach capacity!

[Buy Some Pie] [Visit Pie Paradise]

List of Contestants Edit

Agatha · BarrettEdit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-agatha Agatha Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-barrett Barrett
She's got a solid twenty years of pie-eating experience over most of these whippersnappers.
Lvl: 48 (Eliminated July 18)
  • Quote:
Thank you, dear!
Why, how very lovely of you!
There's one thing Barrett won't let Mirai interrupt: the eating of a pie.
Lvl: 19 (Eliminated July 12)
  • Quote:
Thanks! The Overseer will surely smile on your generosity.
Is there fish in this pie? Or is the fish smell just permanently burnt into my nostrils?

Becky · Bludeau Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-becky Becky Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-bludeau Bludeau
Her competitive spirit comes out whenever she hears the words "contest" or "eating."
Lvl: 36 (Eliminated July 15)
  • Quote:
Yes! Piepiepiepiepiepie.
Pie! I mean... thanks! Sorry, I got ahead of pieself. Pie.
One night, Liam got drunk and programmed Bludeau with extensive pie-hankering code.
Lvl: 17 (Eliminated July 12)
  • Quote:
ERROR 29: PLEASE INSERT ADDITIONAL PIES.
No pie, no matter how sweet, can satisfy my yearning for love. Except this one.

Carl · Devin Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-carl Carl Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-devin Devin
This grass-eating ungulate has two secrets: a sweet tooth and an implacable thirst for murder.
Lvl: 87 (Finalist July 19)
  • Quote:
(Carl utters a menacing grunt.)
(Carl impales the pie on his antlers and bugles triumphantly.)
Although he's a vegan, Devin will set all his principles aside for a chicken pot pie.
Lvl: 71 (Eliminated July 19)
  • Quote:
Did you know I can unhinge my jaw? Betcha I can eat this pie in two bites.
Thanks! Lemme just bend my legs back and get into the yogic Pie-Devouring Horse position...

Diedrich · Dr. Singh Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-diedrich Diedrich Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-drsingh Dr. Singh
No man knows what Diedrich is capable of.
Lvl: 282 (Finalist July 19)
  • Quote:
An empire of pies. All for Diedrich. OK, bye!
Did you know that I love you as much as I love pies? Yes. Well, see ya later! Bye!
She got her PhD in biological sciences, but she completed a minor in pie.
Lvl: 11 (Eliminated July 08)
  • Quote:
I devour this pie for science!
Thanks! I wish Timmy were here to watch me eat this.

Edy · Flynn Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-edy Edy Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-flynn Flynn
This rockabilly greaser thug had his share of pie-fights in the old neighborhood.
Lvl: 8 (Eliminated July 06)
  • Quote:
I'ma mess this pie up.
Awright. I owe you one, pal.
Sometimes, Flynn sets her ship's replicator on "pie" and doesn't turn it off till the room fills up.
Lvl: 24 (Eliminated July 13)
  • Quote:
You're the best!
Stand back. My methods aren't pretty.

Ian and Rufus · Ivan Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-ianrufus Ian and Rufus Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-ivan Ivan
This ruthless man/cat combo brings double the pie-packing power.
Lvl: 216 (Finalist July 19)
  • Quote:
Onward to pie victory!
Yeah! Rufus and I are gonna tag-team the heck outta this thing.
This GRS accountant has had a yen for pie ever since his college internship as a crust auditor.
Lvl: 20 (Eliminated July 13)
  • Quote:
Bibbles gets the yucky bits!
Did you know that your pie donation is tax-deductible? Just file form 504-PIE by July 15th.

Jinx · Josie Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-jinx Jinx Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-josie Josie
She's got a wild card up her sleeve. Not sure what good it'll do in a pie eating contest...
Lvl: 13 (Eliminated July 11)
  • Quote:
Heh. I've been expecting you.
I always get what I want... and I want more pies.
She's not a big fan of pie, but there's one thing Josie loves: VICTORY!
Lvl: 12 (Eliminated July 08)
  • Quote:
Ulp! I wasn't quite done with the last one.
Thanks! Gotta push myself. Just... one... more... pie.

Kanoko · Lance Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-kanoko Kanoko Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-lance Lance
Her checkered employment history gives Kanoko the versatility to take on any pie.
Lvl: 213 (Finalist July 19)
  • Quote:
Thanks! I won't let you down! You won't regret this!
Hmm, did Rina bake this? I hope there aren't too many flowers in it.
All that lifting leaves Lance with a man-sized appetite for pastry crusts and hot fruity fillings.
Lvl: 16 (Eliminated July 11)
  • Quote:
Ooh, yeah! Bring it on!
Consider this pie taken care of, boss!

Leon · Lex Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-leon Leon Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-lex Lex
This tireless guard has been known to sneak two or three pies during his lunch break.
Lvl: 9 (Eliminated July 07)
  • Quote:
Yeah, OK! Maybe just one more pie before I get back to work...
Thanks, buddy! Y'know, some people are just in this for the glory. Not me. I'm all about the pies.
His appetite for pies was honed while working on his imitation of the "fat era" king of rock.
Lvl: 8 (Eliminated July 06)
  • Quote:
Thankyavurymuch.
Good thing I wore my buffet pants today.

Liam · Logan Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-liam Liam Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-logan Logan
To keep up his buff physique, Liam eats 46,000 calories a day. A dozen pies? No sweat.
Lvl: 45 (Eliminated July 18)
  • Quote:
Yeah! Keep 'em coming, bro!
You wanna watch me eat this pie? It's gonna be hella intense, dude.
Logan has no particular interest in pies, but loves any event where he's allowed to eat a lot.
Lvl: 8 (Eliminated July 06)
  • Quote:
Much obliged, bub!
Ain't a pie been baked that ol' Logan can't handle!

Louie · Meredith Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-louie Louie Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-meredith Meredith
After leading a sad, pieless vampire youth, Louie is determined to make up for lost time.
Lvl: 172 (Finalist July 19)
  • Quote:
Whoof, this is gonna go straight to my thighs.
Sweet! Solid food is better than I thought it would be.
Hidden beneath her mousy exterior is an untamed lust for pie, yearning to be freed.
Lvl: 25 (Eliminated July 14)
  • Quote:
For me!?
Wow, I can't believe you bought me a pie! I didn't think anyone knew I existed...

Mirai · Moira Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-mirai Mirai Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-moira Moira
The fashionable Mirai has plenty of experience baking full-body pie costumes to wear at cons.
Lvl: 10 (Eliminated July 07)
  • Quote:
Barrett! Help me eat this pie!
Isn't just the cutest pie you've ever seen? It's almost a shame to eat it.
Fun fact: punks have triple the stomach capacity of normal humans.
Lvl: 86 (Eliminated July 19)
  • Quote:
No sweat. This pie doesn't stand a chance.
Thanks. And if I catch you giving pies to Liam, you're toast.

Natasha · Ol' Pete Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-natasha Natasha Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-oldpete Ol' Pete
Her cravings for cherry pie once got so intense that she tried to pierce her own mouth shut.
Lvl: 28 (Eliminated July 14)
  • Quote:
Thanks, friendo!
Did I ever show you my apple pie tattoo? Not today, I'm wearing a super complicated belt.
Years of drinking brass polish have stripped Pete's taste buds, but he loves the texture of pie.
Lvl: 17 (Eliminated July 12)
  • Quote:
This pie got nail polish remover in it? I'm allergic to nail polish remover.
Thanks, doctor. How much is the, uhrr, copay on this visit? Can you fix my cat?

Peyo · Rigel and Mintaka Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-peyo Peyo Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-rigelandmintaka Rigel and Mintaka
Despite his size, Peyo can pack in pies like nobody's business.
Lvl: 33 (Eliminated July 15)
  • Quote:
I like pie.
Can you cut it into slices for me like mommy does?
These otherworldly beings have sampled the pies of a thousand worlds. Their favorite: apple.
Lvl: 20 (Eliminated July 13)
  • Quote:
Your generosity will be rewarded by the cosmos.
May the stars shine brightly upon you, piebringer.

Ron Bruise · Ruby Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-ronbruise Ron Bruise Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-ruby Ruby
Ron's been a huge proponent of pies ever since he read Pieanetics.
Lvl: 6 (Eliminated July 05)
  • Quote:
Yeah! Let's DO this! Wooooo! It's pie time!
Wow, hey, we're just having fun and eating some pies here. Nah, kidding! Let's get NUTS! OK!
As a busy single mother, Ruby enjoys any chance she gets to take a break and eat a ton of pie.
Lvl: 8 (Eliminated July 07)
  • Quote:
For me? Oh, you shouldn't have!
Well, aren't you just the sweetest thing.

Russell Ace · Sam Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-russelace Russell Ace Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-sam Sam
Watch out! Russell is a known cheat, even at pie-eating contests.
Lvl: 5 (Eliminated July 05)
  • Quote:
Psst. Make sure you bet on me-- I got a surefire winning strategy.
These jerks won't know what hit 'em when Ace starts plowing through pies.
She's the only mechanic in town that owns a special pair of pie-eating coveralls.
Lvl: 48 (Eliminated July 18)
  • Quote:
Down the hatch!
Yeah, I'm gonna win. Pfft, I eat this many pies even when it's not a contest.

Sasha · Stein Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-sasha Sasha Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-stein Stein
Despite her slim figure, Sasha's no slouch when it comes to binging on sweets.
Lvl: 11 (Eliminated July 08)
  • Quote:
Thanks! Wow, I'm like not even half full yet.
More! More pies now. ...I mean, uh, thanks!
Stein feels as though he can relate to pies: his flaky crust hides a sweet interior.
Lvl: 87 (Finalist July 19)
  • Quote:
Mhmm, yes. This pie will be swiftly dealt with.
I will file and index this pie within my intestinal archive at once.

T-Bone · Vanessa Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-tbone T-Bone Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-vanessa Vanessa
Even the smooth-jazzy embodiment of pure evil has been known to enjoy the occasional pie.
Lvl: 6 (Eliminated July 05)
  • Quote:
Solid. I can dig this pie.
Yeah, baby. Render unto T-Bone the pies which are due him.
Don't count her out in an eat-off: Vanessa is a girl who eats her dessert first.
Lvl: 15 (Eliminated July 11)
  • Quote:
Mmmmm.
Ooh, this ought to fill out my figure nicely.

Von Helson Twins · Monia, Jay, Scuppers Edit

Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-vonhelsonsisters Von Helson Twins Summer2k11 npc portraits fed-wingscouts Monia, Jay, Scuppers
They're not used to biting anything that's not neck-shaped, but they'll give it a go.
Lvl: 25 (Eliminated July 14)
  • Quote:
Hmph. Thanks, I guess.
Oh, more pie? *Yawn* Charming.
As orphans, they battled starvation on a daily basis. Now, they're making up for lost pie.
Lvl: 29 (Eliminated July 15)
  • Quote:
Yay! It's a pie!
Back at Shabby Meadows, we made our own pies out of cobwebs and doorknobs.

Elimination text simplifiedEdit

  • July 05 - Russell Ace Lvl 5 / Ron Bruise Lvl 6 / T-Bone Lvl 6
  • July 06 - Edy Lvl 8 / Lex Lvl 8 / Logan Lvl 8
  • July 07 - Ruby Lvl 8 / Leon Lvl 9 / Mirai Lvl 10
  • July 08 - Dr. Singh Lvl 11 / Sasha Lvl 11 / Josie Lvl 12
  • July 11 - Jinx Lvl 13 / Vanessa Lvl 15 / Lance Lvl 16
  • July 12 - Bludeau Lvl 17 / Ol' Pete| Lvl 17 / Barrett Lvl 19
  • July 13 - Ivan Lvl 20 / Rigel and Mintaka Lvl 20 / Flynn Lvl 24
  • July 14 - Meredith Lvl 25 / Von Helson Twins Lvl 25 / Natasha Lvl 28
  • July 15 - Monia, Jay and Scuppers Lvl 29 / Peyo Lvl 33 / Becky Lvl 36
  • July 18 - Liam Lvl 45 / Agatha Lvl 48 / Sam Lvl 48
  • July 19 - Devin Lvl 71 / Moira Lvl 86
  • July 19 - Finalist Carl Lvl 87 / Stein Lvl 87 / Louie Lvl 172 / Kanoko Lvl 213 / Ian and Rufus Lvl 216 / Diedrich Lvl 282


PIE HARD: With a VengeanceEdit

The final round of Pie Hard is a no-holds-barred eating contest to the death! Cheer on your favorite contestant to lead them to victory!

[Visit Flash Space] [How to Play]

List of Contestants: FinalistEdit

Carl · Diedrich Edit

Summer2k11 80carl Carl Summer2k11 80diedrich Diedrich
This grass-eating ungulate has two secrets: a sweet tooth and an implacable thirst for murder.
Score: 933 (Closing Score Aug 31)
  • Summer2k11 6-rank
No man knows what Diedrich is capable of.
Score: 934 (Closing Score Aug 31)
  • Summer2k11 5-rank

Ian and Rufus · Kanoko Edit

Summer2k11 80ianrufus Ian and Rufus Summer2k11 80kanoko Kanoko
This ruthless man/cat combo brings double the pie-packing power.
Score: 943 (Closing Score Aug 31)
  • Summer2k11 1-rank
Her checkered employment history gives Kanoko the versatility to take on any pie.
Score: 935 (Closing Score Aug 31)
  • Summer2k11 4-rank

Louie · Stein Edit

Summer2k11 80louie Louie Summer2k11 80stein Stein
After leading a sad, pieless vampire youth, Louie is determined to make up for lost time.
Score: 940 (Closing Score Aug 31)
  • Summer2k11 2-rank
Stein feels as though he can relate to pies: his flaky crust hides a sweet interior.
Score: 937 (Closing Score Aug 31)
  • Summer2k11 3-rank

Final closing score simplifiedEdit

August 31

  • Ian & Rufus: 943 1st Place, Winners
  • Louie: 940 2nd Place
  • Stein: 937 3rd Place
  • Kanoko: 935 4th Place
  • Diedrich: 934 5th Place
  • Carl: 933 6th Place

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