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Sudden EncountersEdit

The encounters have been sorted and listed slightly alphabetical for easier reading. The single sentence stands for encounters that did not require clicking to see the result. While the blue sentence stands for encounters that required clicking to see the result. In the miscellaneous and choice encounters, these are encounters that gave two options (done in blue), clicking an option gave a random result, meaning a different result would happen if the encounter popped up again. The 'common phrase' key means the phrase was repeated after every result.

Encounters: Luck & HealthEdit

LuckEdit

Common phrase
  • Your luck increases slightly. Good things are now more likely to happen on your journey. Hooray!
  • Your luck increases significantly. Good things are now more likely to happen on your journey. Hooray! + You gain ## loot.
  • Your luck decreases significantly. Bad things are now much more likely to happen on your journey. Oh no!

Increases slightly

  • A double rainbow appears in front of you, auguring good fortune.
  • After a hearty meal, you notice Crewmate's belly protruding.
    You can't help giving it a hearty rub. => This timeless goodwill gesture brings a blessing upon your crew.
  • Under a tangle of roots you find a wooden idol of a large-bottomed woman. Blood streams constantly from its eyes.
    You take it back to the ship. => This fertility idol will bring great fortune to your vessel and increase Crewmate's chance of pregnancy.

Decreases significantly

  • Crewmate accidentally navigates the ship into a small tree, causing an innocent cuscus to fall to its death.
    A dark cloud seems to form over your ship. => You feel there will be great suffering on your journey.
  • You come across a beautiful still life arrangement featuring a vase, several pieces of fruit, and a glass pitcher.
    Text na => It instantly turns to dust in your hands. You feel as though you have done something terrible. Your luck has changed for the worse.

HealthEdit

Common phrase
Crewmate's health increases slightly.
Crewmate's health increases significantly.
Crewmate's health decreases slightly.
Crewmate's health decreases significantly.

Increases slightly

  • While standing in a majestic pose on the airship's bow Crewmate, passes through a swarm of insects and swallows six pounds of them. They're an excellent source of protein.
  • Crewmate comes down with "double face."
    Try not to look at Crewmate. => Having just before contracted "half face," this turns out to be for the best.
  • Crewmate contracts dysentery.
    Treat this vintage medical malady with modern medicine. => Crewmate feels better than ever.
  • Crewmate finds an unlabeled bottle of pills hidden in an old sock.
    Have Crewmate test them out. => Crewmate gains some health.
  • You enter an evolutionary hot spot high in the tropical canopy.
    See what happens. => The Crewmate rapidly adapts to your surroundings.
  • You meet a teenage runaway who has dedicated her life to the activist group JellyFirst!
    Give her a ride. => When she finds out you are also a friend of the great jellyfish in the sky, she gives Crewmate a first aid kit.

Increases significantly

  • A priestess of the jellyfish demigod wants to help you.
    Approach the priestess. => She uses her healing powers to restore some of Crewmate's health.
  • In a moment of desperation, Crewmate licked a strange moss growing on the ship's bilge bump.
    Examine Crewmate. => That was some tasty moss.

Decreases slightly

  • The salt air damages Crewmate's hair.
  • Crewmate develops a case of "rocketbutt."
  • Crewmate has fallen sick with a rare case of inverted hearing.
  • Crewmate miraculously develops a sixth sense. It's called "clobe," and it's completely useless and unpleasant.
  • Crewmate's intestines become the battleground for a parasite gang war.
  • The electromagnetic activity in the volcanic ash clouds reveals one of Crewmate's hidden talents: getting struck by lightning.
  • Crewmate develops a serious case of weeping cough.
    Offer Crewmate some tissues. => Crewmate ends up dehydrated from excessive moisture loss.
  • The Crewmate wants to go fishing.
    Dive into the frozen fish sticks you packed earlier- they're almost the same thing... => The Crewmate eats the entire bag without even defrosting them, quickly followed by tuna-flavored projectile vomiting.
  • You all stop to get matching anchor tattoos, but Crewmate mishears and gets a unicorn.
    You all have a good laugh at Crewmate's error. => The unicorn gang doesn't see the humor in Crewmate's unauthorized use of their symbol, however, and tears the flesh off Crewmate's arm.
  • You encounter William S. Burroughs, whose inhalation of exotic pesticides has sent him on a strange journey into the world of Gaia. After a series of nonlinear interludes, he tries to shoot an apple balanced on Dave's head and misses.
    Dave loses faith in strangers (and an ear). => You kick Burroughs to the curb.
  • A storm blows up and you take refuge at a cottage warm. There you meet a doting couple. The gentleman introduces his eerily limp wife as Porphyria and himself as her Lover.
    Text na => You think it's because his wife is dead, but perhaps a closer reading of the tableau will reveal more about romantic love than you wish to know. Crewmate gets a mean case of the willies.

Decreases significantly

  • Crewmate broke a leg trying to kick a rock (the rock was much larger than it initially appeared)
  • Captain, First Crewmate, Second Crewmate, Third Crewmate, Fourth Crewmate broke a leg trying to kick a rock (the rock was much larger than it initially appeared)
  • Crewmate broke an arm while engaging in some rowdy horseplay.
  • Crewmate discovers one thing you definitely cannot do with a cactus.
  • Crewmate got a wicked splinter from caressing the ship's mizzenmast.
  • Crewmate got hit with a poison dart shot by some meddlesome kids on the ground.
  • Crewmate is stricken with a case of general tumescence. Breathing becomes difficult and movements stiff.
  • Crewmate's pinkie explodes, running a perfectly good sandwich.
  • In a momentary lapse of proprioception, Crewmate opens a door into their own face.
  • In a momentary lapse of proprioception, Captain, First Crewmate, Second Crewmate, Third Crewmate, Fourth Crewmate opens a door into their own face.
  • Crewmate breathes the wrong part of the air.
    Help Crewmate. => Crewmate suffers mild brain damage.
  • Crewmate came down with an acute case of oral burpies.
    Mourn for Crewmate. => There's just no cure for oral burpies.

Encounters: Food & LootEdit

FoodEdit

Common phrase
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
You lose ## lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.

Gain; minus what

  • Crewmate discovered a hidden stash of energy bars in the lower decks.
  • The jellyfish demigod sends a minion bearing food.
  • You find a bear munching on a cow carcass. A friend of the jellyfish, he invites you to take some with you.
  • A deer lands on the deck of your ship, breaking all of his legs.
    Do the right thing. => Your larder grows larger.
  • Another band flying the flag of the jellyfish god flags you down.
    Stop to investigate. => They have more than they need and give you some food.
  • Crewmate discovered a small nest filled with falcon eggs in the ship's mast.
    Grab the eggs. => Sure, you got some food, but at what cost?
  • You develop a case of cerebral termites.
    Harvest them. => Cerebral termites are a delicacy. Using a coat hanger and some honey you fish them out and make a stew.
  • You encounter the jellybean demigod, cousin to the jellyfish demigod.
    Pet it. => It constantly excretes jellybeans in your presence.
  • You find drops of blood on the floor. It seems to be coming from above you.
    You slowly look up. => Crewmate had cleaned and strung up some kind of carcass while you weren't looking.
  • You notice stink lines emanating from Crewmate.
    Investigate. => On closer inspection it turns out they're just leeches. You brush them off and add them to the larder.


Lose; addition to

  • You catch a mother bear fattening herself for winter in your pantry. She is very apologetic when confronted, but that doesn't bring the food back, now does it.
  • You're eating for two because you have a tapeworm.
  • You're eating for three because you somehow have two tapeworms.
  • A pack of rats moves into your ship's hold.
    You are forced to ask them to leave. => They decline your request and continue eating your food.
  • Crewmate discovered a pile of spoiled grunny meat in the cargo hold.
    Dispose of it. => You chuck the rotten meat, avoiding some bad food poisoning in the process.
  • Crewmate is stricken with ennui, and takes to staring out portholes and heaving demonstrative sighs.
    Ask Crewmate what's up. => "I don't know," Crewmate replies, gazing without focus into the middle distance. "I'm just sad." You bake Crewmate a cheer-up cake.
  • Every year the weevils throw a huge party somewhere.
    This can't be good. => This year it's in your food store.
  • Just when you're feeling pretty good about yourself and your airship, you're cruelly heckled by a six-year-old child flying by on a hang glider.
    Pretend like it didn't bother you. => In your despair, you pillage your food supply.
  • You are a strict observer of "the feast of two dinners," a ceremony in which everyone must eat two dinners or risk offending the god of buffets.
    Let the feast commence! => You have satisfied the deity thanks to your food supply.
  • Your shirt has a hole in it.
    And you have three weddings to go to. => You no longer recognize yourself. Perhaps your name is Crewmate? You eat some cheese to feel better.
  • You see the best minds of your generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked.
    Howl. => You give them some food and money. That pretty much solves all of their real problems.
    You lose ## lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.
    You lose ## loot.

LootEdit

Common phrase
You gain ## loot.
You lose ## loot.

Gain loot

  • Digging a makeshift latrine you discover a bandit's stash.
  • You ate breakfast, did some piloting, checked the maps and had a really nice lunch... and then you found a bunch of loot!
  • You encounter the ruins of an ancient desert temple.
  • A mad castaway raves about the whiteness of the whale.
    During the seemingly endless rant, Crewmate sneaks behind his back and steals some loot. => That'll teach him not to waste people's valuable time.
  • A traveler near you is struck by an epiphany and wants to rid herself of worldly possessions.
    Help her out. => You are only too happy to help.
  • Contrary to what you were told, loot really does grow on trees.
    Start pickin'! => You fill your pockets with precious loot seeds and feel pretty special.
  • Crewmate find's a really great lookin' conch shell.
    Take it away from Crewmate. => You wrestle Crewmate for control of the conch shell, and the dramatic struggle with the conch getting ripped in half. As luck would have it, it was full of treasure.
  • Crewmate invents a game where you roll a hoop around the ship with just a stick.
    The hoop goes over the edge. => Crewmate goes after it, revealing the amazing ability to fly for short periods of time. You force Crewmate to use this ability to steal from other airships.
  • Some air turbulence breaks all of your plates.
    You argue about whether you should buy new stuff or just glue them back together. => Eventually you agree to glue all the pieces together into one giant abstract sculpture. A passing aesthete offers you a handsome sum and you sell it to him.
  • You get a little stir crazy in the night and decide to do something productive.
    Organize the loot. => You carefully stack and arrange the crates with expert precision... and discover some loot you didn't even know you had in the process!
  • You reel in a very small, very heavy fish.
    Inspect your catch. => Turns out it's a rather expensive fish-shaped device for measuring soil acidity.
  • Inside every cloud is a silver lining.
    You fly into the cloud to find it. => With axes and shovels you harvest a good chunk of the silver.


Lose loot

  • Crewmate is swindled by a televangelist.
  • Massive inflation elsewhere on the continent devalues your loot.
  • You pay a handful of loot to see a chicken ritually slaughtered, but it doesn't make you feel any better.
  • A friendly stranger borrows some loot to show you a magic trick.
    Watch closely. => Then he does an even better trick and disappears into thin air.
  • It's Crewmate's birthday!
    You end the day by throwing a big party, complete with presents. => You go all out buying presents
  • You discover a bad case of universal grubs in your loot.
    Kill 'em. => You douse them with urine, killing them, but they've already some loot.
  • You encounter an annoying illusionist who makes your ship disappear.
    Give him some loot to make the ship reappear. => Your ship reappears.
  • Your ship suffers a mild howler monkey infestation.
    You can only wait and hope for the best. => The little devils plunder some loot before you kick them out.


Encounters: Speed & TimeEdit

SpeedEdit

Common phrase
Your ship's speed increases slightly. It will take you less time to cover the same distance.
Your ship's speed increases significantly. It will take you a lot less time to cover the same distance.
Your ship's speed decreases slightly. It will take you more time to cover the same distance.
Your ship's speed decreases significantly. It will take you a lot more time to cover the same distance.

Increases slightly

  • A mean tail wind kicks up behind you. You make a joke about "tail wind" and everyone laughs.
  • A corked bottle floats alongside your ship.
    Inside you find an incomplete crossword puzzle. => The Crewmate notices a mistake which, once corrected, makes it easily solvable. Your triumphant crew returns to work exuberant.
  • Crewmate develops a sudden and surprising interest in nudism.
    That sounds like it will be interesting. => Dave's new lifestyle pays off. Those clothes turned out to be slowing you down.
  • Crewmate tries out a new hairstyle.
    Honestly, you have mixed feelings about it. => It turns out to be amazingly aerodynamic.
  • The long journey is starting to take its toll.
    Every member of your crew has sprouted a gnarly beard. => Shaving the beards reduced wind resistance and weight, allowing you to travel faster.
  • The trees see that you are trying to help their kind and work twice as hard.
    Wave at the trees. => They create a gentle breeze behind you.

Increases significantly

  • A band of elves devoted to the jellyfish god recognize that you are their spiritual allies.
    Bow respectfully to the elves. => They bestow a blessing on your ship's engine.
  • An inexperienced wizard accidentally creates a gravity well. It draws you forward with extreme force.
    Get ready for a fall. => Just in time the wizard turns it into a peacock, but your ship continues sailing briskly.

Decreases slightly

  • Giant barnacles grow on the bottom of your ship.
  • Your ship gets bubblegum rot. You're constantly pulling sticky rotten wood off the bottom of your shoe.
  • A cloud thinks you are its baby and settles around your ship to nurse you.
    Proceed cautiously. => Decreased visibility slows you down.
  • An attempt to deep-fry a whole bear does not go as planned.
    Wha' happen??? => The grease explosion clogs your transmission.
  • The zeppelin beetle looks like a miniature version of your ship, which makes your vessel irresistibly sexy to them.
    Proceed cautiously. => Millions of beetles try to flirt with your ship, slowing you down.

Decreases significantly

  • The world's bounciest trampoline leads to tragedy when a high-flying child gets sucked into your engine.
  • Something breaks on the ship but you really don't know what it is or how to fix it.
    Proceed cautiously. => Just hope it isn't important and carry on.
  • The wind turns against you!
    Fight the wind. => Fight as you may, you are no match for the wind.

TimeEdit

Common phrase
You save # hours of travel.
You lose # hours of travel.

Save hours

  • Thanks to some deft navigation, you're able avoid a number of tricky obstacles.
  • Crewmate captures a rare specimen of butterfly in a jar.
    Examine the butterfly. => On closer inspection, the butterfly contains a map on its wings. You alter your course and gain some ground.
  • Crewmate gets a case of ants in the pants. Unfortunately they are dragon ants, the cruel and soulless emperors of the ant world.
    Damn the ants and keep going. => On the other hand, this proves to be good motivation to get moving.
  • Distracted by a flock of seagulls playing hacky sack, you misread the map.
    Get your bearings. => It turns out you are farther along than you thought.
  • Gnomes, famous for their pranks, disassemble your ship and kidnap all of your crew in the night.
    Shrug your shoulders. => By morning they have reassembled it several miles up the trail. You awake in new surroundings pleasantly confused.
  • In a fit of hubris, you imagine yourself the equal of the gods themselves.
    You fly too close to the sun. => You awaken from this horrible dream chastened of your pretensions and more capable of piloting responsibly.
  • You spy a most curious beast: a flying dog.
    Go in for a closer look. => It turns out to be a real class act and points you in the direction of a shortcut.
  • Your hand grows a mouth and starts talking to you. It is very itchy and smells bad.
    Come to terms with this horrible mutation. => Its faults aside, your hand-mouth gives good directions.
  • During the night you have a strangely lucid dream in which you learn a shortcut through the desert, then see your older self being thrown through a plate glass window by a gorilla.


Text na => The shortcut works!

Lose hours

  • Crewmate becomes corrupted by rock music and adopts an anti-authority stance.
  • Crewmate is suffering from hysterical pregnancy.
  • A dust storm makes navigation impossible.
    Shrug your shoulders. => You go back to bed.
  • A lava flood erupts from the rock surface.
    Proceed cautiously. => You go slower while fighting the billowing heat.
  • A little bird flies in the window and wants to tell you a secret.
    You humor the little bird. => The bird gives a precise account of the end of the human race, in terms so realistic and inevitable it immobilizes you with terror.
  • An old man flags you down and regales you with a fabulous story from his youth.
    Listen to his stories. => Before you know it the afternoon is over, but you feel that you've gained in wisdom what you've lost in time.
  • Crewmate has come down with a terrible case of mutiny.
    Handle the situation. => Due to your poor understanding of knots, it takes you longer than anticipated to tie Crewmate up.
  • Crewmate tries a new way to tie shoelaces but makes an unforgivable mistake.
    Start untangling Crewmate. => Your crew spends hours untangling the knot.
  • In all your haste to make it to the end you accidentally left Crewmate behind a few stops back.
    Go get Crewmate. => You waste valuable hours going back to get them.
  • Magnetic rocks buried in the mountains wreak havoc with your navigation system.
    Proceed cautiously. => You waste time finding your way back to the trail.
  • The clouds part to reveal a full moon, triggering a dark and hideous lycanthropic transformation in Crewmate.
    Run! => You spend a night you could have used getting closer to the Jellyfish running in terror instead.
  • You pick up a hitchhiker. He turns out to be romantic poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge, who has been transported to Gaia in a hallucinatory opium stupor. He leads you to Xanadau, where Kubla Khan has constructed a stately pleasure-dome; inside, an Abyssinian maid produces a dulcimer and plays a song of such ecstatic beauty that your crew is consumed with passion and vows to never leave.
    You spend what seems to be three lifetimes within Kubla Khan's intoxicating realm. => Coleridge is awakened by a knock at his door and the fantasy evaporates.
  • Your entire crew becomes enchanted by a collective day dream in which an aging capybara attempts to open a hardware store on a cloud.
    Keep dreaming. => The daydream comes to a violent end when the ship crashes into a volcano. Lose time making repairs.
  • Your ship gets caught in a very large tree filled with obnoxious screaming howler monkeys.
    You spend some time teaching the monkeys how to communicate at a more reasonable volume.


Encounters: Ammo & CreatureEdit

AmmoEdit

Common phrase
You gain # ammo.
You lose # ammo.

Gain ammo

  • Crewmate grows bored with this tiresome thing we call life.
    No amount of encouragement seems to help. => To feel better, Crewmate shoplifts some ammo from a nearby airship.
  • You make friends with a stray dog who has been following you. It throws up in your lap.
    Clean up. => The dog was probably sick from eating a box of ammo. You wipe the ammo off and add it to your store.
  • You see a box of ammo in the tree canopy.
    Grab it! => You fight off a band of squirrels and claim your reward.

Lose ammo

  • A nomadic megadog passes by your ship.
    Marvel at its grace and stature. => The dog's mega-fleas attempt to board your ship. You fight them off with your superior weaponry.
  • Crewmate has a great idea for a pasta dish.
    You're looking forward to dinner. => Crewmate made a very interesting bowl suited for holding pasta out of a bunch of bullets welded together, but no dinner.
  • Sand gets in the bullets.
    Have Crewmate deal with it. => Sand doesn't damage them, but Crewmate thinks it does and throws them out.
  • The shadow man visits you in the dead of night. You tell yourself it's not real, but you know better.
    Wake up! => You awake in a cold sweat to find some ammo missing.
  • You see a pelican feeding its young.
    Admire this majestic creature. => It is adorable until you realize its feeding them your ammo.


CreatureEdit

Note: Some of the creature encounters contain a mix of sudden and choice encounters, they are gathered together for easier sorting.

Item:Death Moth

  • Crewmate accidentally fell off the ship while chasing a moth.
    Investigate the scene. => The moth escaped unharmed. Shame about Crewmate.
    Crewmate dies.

Nymph

  • A wood nymph steals a pencil from the coffee mug on your desk. You chase her down and ask for it back. The nymph offers you a potion in exchange. Do you drink it?

No.

=> The nymph disappears with both pencil and potion. Trying writing things now.
=> You just want the pencil. You go home and write in your diary about how you didn't drink a mystery potion.

Yes.

=> Your crew's health improves slightly.
=> All of your joints become double-jointed. After you figure out how to walk again you become a great asset in the rigging.
Your ship's speed increases significantly. It will take you a lot less time to cover the same distance.
=> You develop an abscess on your shoulder blade that's inconvenient for a few days, but when it ruptures you find antibiotic capsules inside.
Your crew's health improves sightly.

Ogre

  • An ogre waves you down to challenge you to an arm-wrestling contest. Do you accept?

Yes.

=> An ogre is basically an ox standing upright. She pins you in seconds, but admires your gumption and gives you a potion to help you recover.
Your crew's health improves significantly.
=> On the verge of pinning you, the ogre is stung by a bee. You seize the opportunity and win. He is a big crybaby about it, but stays true to his word and shows you a shortcut.
You save # hours of travel.
=> The ogre rips Crewmate's arm off and throws it to a pack of feral cats.
Crewmate's health decreases significantly.

No.

=> You save your energy for later and carry on.
=> You save your energy for later and carry on.
You lose # hours of travel.
=> You decline and instead challenge the ogre to a knitting contest. You win by a landslide.
=> You decline the arm wrestling and instead challenge the ogre to a knitting contest. You win by a landslide.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate
=> The ogre is deeply offended by your refusal of what is, in ogre culture, a gesture of hospitality. You have to spend hours consoling him.
You lose # hours of travel.

Pygmi

  • A band of pygmies, amazed by everything about you, asks if you'd like to be their ruler. Do you accept?

Yes, power is fun.

=> A scandal erupts when you can't produce a pygmy birth certificate. You beat a hasty retreat in which Crewmate suffers partial paralysis by blowgun darts.
Crewmate's health decreases significantly.
=> You rule with an iron fist for about ten minutes before you get bored. On the way out you steal a bunch of really nice stuff.
You gain ## loot.
=> Turns out being a pygmy lord is mostly paperwork and meetings. After tiring of this you dip out.
You lose # hours of travel.
=> Actually, just the pygmy speaking to you wanted you as their ruler. No one else wants either of you, so he joins your crew, doing odd jobs that save your crew lots of time.
Your ship's speed increases significantly. It will take you a lot less time to cover the same distance.

No thanks, you're fine with just being a captain.

=> The pygymies hate to see you leave but love to watch you go.

Vampire

  • A vampire leaps out of nowhere and throws a bomb on the deck, but Crewmate successfully kicks it back at the vampire, blowing him to bits.
    Say "whoa." => You say "whoa" and notice that Crewmate broke two toes.
    Crewmate's health decreases significantly.
  • Crewmate lies down to take a nap. While getting a snack you spy a shadowy figure beside Crewmate's bunk.You call out and the figure vanishes in a dark cloud.
    Investigate. => Crewmate has two bite marks.
    Crewmate's health decreases slightly.
  • Everyone starts to feel ill after dinner. Someone filled the salt shaker with rat poison!
    Investigate. => You search for the culprit and notice a bat leaving the ship from the corner of your eye.
    Your crew's health decreases significantly.
  • Something pricks Crewmate's foot when putting on their shoes. Inside you find a thorn poisoned with salamander's blood, a favorite trap of vampires.
    Crewmate's health decreases slightly.
  • A pale, terrified man flags you down. You can't understand a word he says, and he dies convulsing in your arms.
    Return to your ship. => Returning to your ship you see two vampires running off with some food.
    You lose ## lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.
  • You find zombie rats in your food.
    Exterminate the rats. => You kill the undead buggers, but a bunch of food is ruined. Zombie rats are a sign that vampires are near.
    You lose ## lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.
  • You find a group of vampires cutting down a huge beautiful tree.
    Stop them! => You chase them off and spend the morning bandaging the tree.
    You lose # hours of travel.
  • You see a vampire following you on the ground.
    Try to catch them. => You stay up all night chasing the vampire to no avail. This makes you very tired and you oversleep the next morning.
    You lose # hours of travel.
  • Your engine jams. Someone stuffed a cow's dead body into the gears and this time it wasn't you.
    Clean it out. => The cow was sucked dry of blood. Spend valuable time cleaning the gears and watching for vampires.
    You lose # hours of travel.
  • Crewmate heard some noises in the hold but is afraid to investigate alone.
    Investigate the hold yourself. => A bat flies past you head when you open the door and some ammo mysteriously disappears.
    You lose ## ammo.
  • Your alarm goes off, softy murmuring "open your eyes, open your eyes," over and over.
    Was it all a dream? => No, you are still on your airship going to save a jellyfish demigod from vampires.
  • After dashing into the trees moments before, Carl drags back four dead vampires by their capes.

Thank Carl for saving you from the assassin vampires.

=> Carl guffaws in acknowledgment. He almost seems happy. Almost.

Sort through the vampires' stuff.

=> Your luck decreases slightly. Bad things are now much more likely to happen on your journey. Oh no!

Hide in the ship interior, in case there were more vampires Carl didn't notice.

=> Carl advances dangerously towards you, displeased at the suggestion that he might have missed a vampire.

Misc Creatures

  • An ice cream monster attacks!
    Take it on. => You eat the ice cream monster with battle-spoons.
  • You hear beautiful singing, the kind that can only come from a group of seductive sea sirens.
    Follow the music. => After some awkward small talk, you learn that they all have boyfriends. You get out of there is a real hurry.
  • A mummy stands in your path.
    Text na => Mummies are an endangered species unaffiliated with vampires so you wait for it to shamble across your way safely.


Choice EncountersEdit

These encounters have been sorted by short answer then gradually to longer answers, some are listed slightly alphabetical for easier reading. As stated above the blue sentence stands for encounters that required clicking to see the result, giving the player two options (done in blue), clicking an option gave a random result, meaning a different result would happen if the encounter popped up again.

  • A girl asks you to help find her lost dog. Do you help?

Yes.

=> The dog is nowhere to be found, but a bunch of meat is just sitting around nearby.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
=> You find the dog in the next town over where he has a secret second family. He bribes you to keep his secret hidden and promises he'll be back to the first girl before long.
You gain ## loot.
=> This was actually just the set up for a really boring religious lecture. You assure her you've already found your own dog.
You lose # hours of travel.

No.

=> She weeps.
=> She calls you a mild profanity.
=> She beats Crewmate senseless out of spite.
Crewmate's health decreases significantly.

  • A handsome boy minstrel wanders into camp. Would you like him to sing for you?

Yes.

=> He has the voice of an angel and you sign him to your record label. He becomes the next teen sensation and you lose time escaping the hordes of shrieking fans in pursuit.
You gain ## loot.
You lose # hours of travel.

No.

=> He wanders off into the woods. Years later you meet again at a bagel shop and awkwardly make small talk.

  • A man introduces himself to you as Doctor Slaptastic and asks if you would like to be healed.

Yes.

=> He slaps Crewmate across the face, healing diseases you didn't even know about.
Crewmate's health increases significantly.

No.

=> Doctor Slaptastic doesn't take no for an answer. He catches Crewmate off guard with a stinging but curative slap.
Crewmate's health increases significantly.

  • A pterodactyl nests on top of your mast. Do you try to remove it?

Yes.

=> The pterodactyl tears your sail in anger. The Kestrel is okay, but it takes a while to repair the sail.
You lose # hours of travel.

No.

=> The additional drag slows you down but the pterodactyl looks cool.
Your ship's speed decreases significantly. It will take you a lot more time to cover the same distance.

  • A roadside billboard advertises the services of a local witch doctor. Do you visit her?

Yes.

=> The witch doctor rubs you down with a dirty sponge soaked in celery grease. You feel much better.

No.

=> You keep going.
Your crew's health improves significantly.

  • A ghost appears to you in the night and offers to show you how you die. Do you accept its offer?

Yes, you can face your fate.

=> The ghost realizes you don't have a DVD player and leaves angry and disappointed.
=> The ghost whisks you through the astral plane to an alternate universe in dimension n-x where you see your end. In that dimension everyone's a dinosaur, though, so you're not sure it applies, but you use the astral plane to save yourself some travel time.
You save # hours of travel.
=> The ghost is about to show you, then realizes it's way too embarrassing for you to know in advance. He gives you some bullets for your bravery, though.
You gain ## ammo.

No.

=> Enjoy your surprise death!

  • You come across a wrecked airship partially covered with undergrowth. Do you go in for a closer look?

Ohhhhh yeah.

=>You find a bunch of dirty magazines and lose hours educating yourself.
You lose # hours of travel.

Yes.

=>A brigand ambushes you and holds you ransom for a box of bullets.
You lose ## ammo.

No.

=> Text na

  • You come across a wrecked airship partially covered with undergrowth. Do you go in for a closer look?

With some trepidation.

=> You find a box of ammo.
You gain ## ammo.

Yes.

=> Text na

No.

=> You keep going.

  • A distressed whale approaches your ship. Do you try to help it?

Yes, I love animals.

=> The whale turns out to be a magical princess who bestows her blessing on you.
Your luck increases significantly. Good things are now more likely to happen on your journey. Hooray!
=> The whale's blowhole seems to be blocked. You reach in and find some loot coated in mucus.
You gain ## loot.

No, whales are gross and dangerous.

=> Text na

I've always wondered what whale tastes like...

=> You lose ## lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.

  • You find a scrap of paper with the words "fire walk with me" scrawled on it. Do you enter the surreal mystery world of its secret meaning?

Yes, I want to understand.

=> This richly rendered drama reveals a world in which the only sure thing is the sadistic pit at the bottom of the soul. Your crew enjoys this immensely.
Your crew's health improves slightly.

No, and I don't like Mulholland Drive either.

=> You're missing out.

  • You find a sign pointing off the main trail labeled "secret shortcut." Do you take it?

Yes, I like adventure.

=> Out of nowhere a minotaur ambushes you and steals some food. Seems like you can't trust anyone these days.
You lose ## lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.
=> Turns out there's a toll, but you've come this far so you might as well pay it.
You lose ## loot.
You save # hours of travel.
=> Absolutely nothing notable happens except that the shortcut saves you some time. And Crewmate can't stop dreaming of giant frogs, though these are also strangely neutral dreams.
You save # hours of travel.

No, the beaten path is just fine.

=> You continue on the trail.

  • You see an encampment not too far out of your way. Do you go in to investigate?

Yes, let's see what's going on.

=> The village looks weird. At the last minute you look down into the water and realize it is actually a gigantic lure attached to an even more gigantic fish. Crewmate has a heart attack.
Crewmate's health decreases significantly.

No, you don't have time for fooling around.

=> You continue on the trail.

  • You see signs advertising a party on the ground below. Would you like to join?

PAARRTYY!!

=> It's a study party. Your crew is totally bummed, but by boning up on algebra they figure out how to fly the ship better.
Your ship's speed increases slightly. It will take you less time to cover the same distance.
=> It's a study party. Your crew spends the evening learning something unrelated to ship-flying.
You lose # hours of travel.

No, you're busy.

=> Lame.

  • Air pirates attack! Do you fight them off or give in to their demands?

Fight!

=> The pirates turn out to be total noobs. You actually make them pay you tribute.
You gain ## loot.
=> Victory is hard won, but it is yours.
Your crew's health decreases significantly.
You lose # hours of travel.
=> The pirates make a casserole with a bunch of your supplies and take the leftovers with them.
You lose ## lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.

Surrender.

=> The pirates pillage your stores but no one is hurt.
You lose ## lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.
You lose ## ammo.
You lose # hours of travel.

  • You find the legendary bullet fruit, the only fruit made of edible bullets. Do you harvest the meat for food or ammo?

Bullets.

=> You delight in the thought of shooting squishy, delicious bullets at your prey.
You gain ## ammo.

Food.

=> You delight in the thought of eating heroic, masculine, jaw-breakingly hard snacks.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.

  • Crewmate finds an oil lamp half-buried in a sand dune.

Light it.

=> It makes for a fine light, but isn't particularly useful otherwise.

Rub it.

=> Text na

Throw it back.

=> Text na

  • A pelican lands on the deck and waddles towards Crewmate.

Shoo it away.

=> Text na

Shoot it.

=> It takes many bullets to take the big bird down, and once you do finally manage, fifty more of the long-billed waterfowl dive in for vengeance. Crewmate loses a pinky.
Your crew's health decreases significantly.
You lose # ammo.

Ignore it.

=> The big bird waddles towards you awkwardly before regurgitating a huge stack of loot it somehow ate.
You gain ## loot.

  • A massive windstorm starts to form just off your starboard bow.

Steer toward it.

=> Text na

Steer away from it.

=> You give the storm a wide berth, but it takes longer than expected to get around it.
You lose # hours of travel.</span>

Hold your course.

=> Text na

  • Two crewmembers call shotgun at the same time. How do you settle the dispute?

Duel.

=> Neither crewmember actually knows how to fight. Their shame makes them mopey all day long.
Your ship's speed decreases slightly. It will take you more time to cover the same distance.

Rock, paper, scissors.

=> That is the correct answer. The universe smiles on your respect for cosmic law.
Your luck increases significantly. Good things are now more likely to happen on your journey. Hooray!
=>Your crew recognizes you as a wise and fair leader whom they willingly obey.
Your ship's speed increases significantly. It will take you a lot less time to cover the same distance.

Russian roulette.

=> Your crew thinks that is a terrible idea and decides they don't have to listen to your orders.
Your ship's speed decreases significantly. It will take you a lot more time to cover the same distance.

  • You notice a vine growing rapidly up your ship's mast.

Chop it down.

=> The pieces of vine ignite as they fall away, causing pandemonium on your ship.
You lose # hours of travel.

See what happens.

=> The vine yields beautiful, sweet-smelling flowers with bullets inside.
You gain # ammo.

  • You come across the scene of an airshipwreck from long ago. Trees and plants now grow out of the rotting wooden carcass.

Explore the ruins.

=> You discover an unopened crate filled with Faunzy's Flutes and spend hours trying to get them to work.
You lose # hours of travel.

Keep going.

=> Let the GREAT ADVENTURE CONTINUE!

  • Your crew comes across the opening to a large, menacing cave.

Explore the cave.

=> You explore the twisting passages of the cave, eventually discovering some old crates of dynamite and jerky. You wisely yoink the jerky.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
=> Crewmate ventures into a deep cavern and unearths an ancient talisman. You feel like your luck is changing for the better.
Your luck increases significantly.

Keep traveling.

=> Text na

  • You spot the opening to a provocative-looking lava tube below.

Explore the tube.

=> Crewmate discovers a giant monolith that promises to grant any wish. A few hours later Ernie emerges wearing a new acid-washed denim shirt and looking very embarrassed.
Text na

Keep traveling.

=> Text na

  • A wandering hermit flags you town and asks you to spare some loot.

Give him some loot.

=> The hermit thanks you and tells you a shortcut.
You lose ## loot.
You save # hours of travel.

Ignore him and keep going.

=> Text na

  • Crewmate starts choking on a piece of food.

Perform the Heimlich Maneuver.

=> You successfully free the blockage from Crewmate's throat. It still looks edible!
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.

Perform the Corbomite Maneuver.

=> Your gambit pays off and you trick the blockage into removing itself from Ernie's throat. It still looks edible.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.

  • You run across the body of a recently-deceased traveller. What would you like to do?

Give him a proper burial.

=> You lose some time, but gain a sense of moral contentment.
You lose # hours of travel.

Rifle through his pockets.

=> Don't touch dead things!
Your crew's health decreases significantly.
You gain ## loot.

Leave the poor guy alone.

=> You get the heck out of there.

  • Crewmate brings out the karaoke machine.

You're too shy to sing.

=> The party rages all night, but everyone's in much better spirits once they recover.
Your crew's health improves slightly.

You grab the mic.

=> Your rendition of "More Than a Feeling" causes a flock of geese to commit suicide by crashing into your ship.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.

  • You encounter a vending machine on the ground beneath your ship.

Feed the machine some loot.

=> Rustic frontier living does have its conveniences.
You gain ## ammo.
You lose ## loot.

Shake the machine.

=> After some vigorous shaking, the vending machine tips over and lands on Crewmate.
Crewmate's health decreases significantly.

  • There's a fire on deck! What do you do?

Eh, someone else will get it.

=> What? You're seriously ignoring a fire? Sure, someone else puts it out eventually, but not before the fire destroys some of your supplies.
You lose ## lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.
You lose ## ammo.

Throw meat on it.

=> A slab of fresh meat brings the fire down to a manageable size and cooks the parasites out of your food, but you need to pull the whole crew from their stations to repair the damage. Your food becomes marginally edible, but you've lost a lot of time.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
You lose ## hours of travel.

Urinate on it.

=> You use the quickest water source available. It smells terrible but is effective. The fire is extinguished before it does any real damage.
Fire goes out (yay).

  • A stranger offers you some candy. Do you take it?

Yeah, I love candy.

=> The stranger grabs you and hauls you into his van, where he has tons of candy.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
=> Too late to stop, you realize the candy is covered in bugs. They contribute the only nutritional part of this meal. The stranger laughs at his ruse.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
=> The candy turns Crewmate into a horse. Crewmate is not very useful any more.
Your ship's speed decreases slightly. It will take you more time to cover the same distance.

No, it could be a trick.

=> The stranger kicks the dirt and says, "aw, shucks."

  • You see someone littering. What do you do?

Kick them in the shin.

=> They kick Crewmate back. Two wrongs don't always make a right.
Crewmate's health decreases slightly.

Tickle them.

=> Loot spills out of his pockets, which Crewmate collects while you have the litterer incapacitated.
You gain ## loot.

Throw them into a man-eating plant.

=> This pleases the jellyfish demigod's sense of irony.
Your luck increases slightly. Good things are now more likely to happen on your journey. Hooray!

  • You see someone littering. What do you do?

Inform them of the environmental harm they are doing.

=> They respond with obscenities, so you don't feel bad about stealing all of their food.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.

Kill them on the spot and use their corpse to fertilize they planet they've wronged.

=> You find a good bit of loot in their pocket, too.
You gain ## loot.

Nothing.

=> Your journey and guilt continue apace.

  • Crewmate picks some low-hanging fruit off of the trees.

Eat the fruit.

=> Text na

Throw the fruit at the seagull passing overhead.

=> Luck decreases slightly.
=> It becomes momentarily dazed and you gain ## lbs of food. original text na

Jar and preserve the fruit to eat later as jam.

=> You mush all of the pears into a big bowl, which promptly rolls off the counter and onto the floor when you hit an air pocket.

  • Crewmate sees a falling star, and wants to make a wish.

We could use more ammo.

=> Crewmate's wishes go unanswered.

More loot, more riches, more prizes!

=> Text na

Dying of starvation is a low priority right now, we could use some food.

=> Text na

  • You find a rope descending from the heavens with a note attached reading, "do not pull!"

Obviously, this rope needs to be pulled!

=> A cow falls from the sky. At terminal velocity it punches a huge hole in your ship that costs time repairing.
You lose # hours of travel.
=> An immense amount of cloud fruit comes pouring down, along with an angry old man who berates you for knocking down his carefully balanced display.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.

The note sounds authoritative. You don't pull the rope.

=> You continue on the trail.

  • Crewmate gets kicked in the head by a horse, severely damaging their brain area.

Where the hell did a horse come from?

=> Oh, you're right, there are no horses on your airship. Nevermind.

That sucks.

=> Yeah, it does!
Crewmate's health decreases significantly.

  • A wealthy eccentric sends an envoy inviting you to dinner. He makes it clear that your attendance is mandatory.

You decide to humor him but no more.

=> You have a delicious meal, though the conversation is bizarre. As you are leaving, he asks whether you had ever eaten human flesh before. You feel nauseous but hold it down.
Your crew's health improves significantly.

You allow yourself to be sucked into his world.

=> You later awaken on your ship wearing only the skull of a monkey. Your stores have inexplicably been filled with ammo and food.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
You gain ## ammo.

You resist him as much as possible.

=> You offend his curious sense of propriety by refusing to floss with a live parrot. His thugs rough you up and deliver you unconscious back to your ship.
Your crew's health decreases significantly.

  • Crewmate looks a bit hungry, but doesn't say anything.

Tell Crewmate to go make a sandwich.

=> Crewmate comes back with sandwiches for everyone. Unfortunately, they're all covered in salmonella.
Your crew's health decreases significantly.

Share the candy bar in your pocket with Crewmate.

=> Crewmate smiles at you. Sometimes it's surprising what a little bit of generosity can do.
Your ship's speed increases significantly. It will take you a lot less time to cover the same distance.
Your crew's health improves slightly.

Three meals a day means three meals a day. No snacking!

=> Crewmate sneaks into the kitchen and gorges.
You lose ## lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.

  • Crewmate suggests the crew stop for a bit and relax with a natural steam bath.

Sure, what's the worst that could happen?

=> Text na

Okay, as long as it's quick.

=> Text na
You lose # hours of travel.

We have more important things to take care of than opening our pores.

=> Crewmate makes a face behind your back and stays in the bathroom for the rest of the day, refusing to work.
Your ship's speed decreases slightly. It will take you more time to cover the same distance.

  • You fear that Crewmate has become a zombie, but have no proof. Due to your well-known history of psychotic hallucinations and unfounded accusations, the rest of your crew doesn't believe you. What do you do?

Act on your suspicions and smother Crewmate in the night.

=> You smother Crewmate, which logically shouldn't have been possible for a zombie, since zombies must be decapitated to be killed. Whoops! You temporarily lose the support of your crew.
Crewmate dies.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.

Assume you're mistaken and let Crewmate live.

=> You sleep on it. In the morning, you find Crewmate eating a stalk of celery-- it turns out Crewmate is a vegetarian, not a zombie! You always get those two mixed up.
=> Later that night, Crewmate eats . It turns out Crewmate was actually a cannibal, not a zombie, so you spare their life.
Crewmate dies.

  • The Cruiser flies over a ziggurat, at the top of which is a bloody sacrificial altar.

Sacrifice Crewmate to whatever Elder God the altar enshrines.

=> The moment you plunge a dagger through Crewmate's heart, you feel Zithillius the Damned smile upon you from the cosmos. The crew is sad at first, but likes their new toys.
Crewmate dies.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
You gain ## loot.
Your crew's health improves significantly.

Ehh, better not. Crewmate does help out with the work, sometimes.

=> You spare Crewmate's life. Probably a mistake, but whatever.

  • A tidal wave appears on the horizon.

Attempt to gain enough altitude for it to miss you.

=> Text na

Turn in the other direction.

=> Text na

Surf it.

=> That was quite possibly the worst decision an airship captain has ever made. Crewmate drowns.
Crewmate dies.

  • Crewmate's been bitten by a snake!

Suck the poison out and administer what anti-venoms you have.

=> The poison you ingested gives you a spirit vision, revealing where you can find some hidden loot in the desert.
You gain ## loot.

Sit idly by and let nature take its course.

=> Crewmate passes the poison rectally, along with some stones you can use as ammo.
You gain # ammo.

Tell Crewmate to walk it off.

=> Text na

  • Everyone's bored. The crew wants to have a talent show.

Tell the crew the only talent you want to see is ship-flying.

=> You continue on your journey a sad, bored bunch.
Your ship's speed decreases slightly. It will take you more time to cover the same distance.

Bust out the costume chest and puppet stage.

=> The talent show takes a long time, but you learn a lot about each others' strengths and anxieties.
Your ship's speed increases slightly. It will take you less time to cover the same distance.
You lose # hours of travel.

  • Crewmate hears something scraping against the window.

Crewmate always was a scaredy-cat; it was probably just a tree branch.

=> You sail on undeterred.

Hide under Crewmate's bed to see if it happens again.

=> It doesn't happen again.

Stop the ship and comb every corner until you find what the sound was.

=> Your luck increases significantly. Good things are now more likely to happen on your journey.

  • Crewmate hears a howl in the distance.

Crewmate always was a scaredy-cat; it was probably just the wind.

=> Text na

Better gain some altitude- don't want to get caught by werewolves.

=> Your ship's speed increases slightly.

Fear is a great motivator- descend below the treeline.

=> Text na

Misc Encounter - The text here was seen on the forum, however the scenario was not available.

  • For not desecrating the dead you get a luck bonus
  • For not desecrating the dead, Teleri smiles upon your journey.
    Text na => Your luck increases slightly. Good things are now more likely to happen on your journey. Hooray!


NPC EncountersEdit

These encounters are by the Gaia NPCs who took the role as a Guide on the journey. Occasionally a popup would appear and contain comments by the NPCs on the current situation or just random happenings. These encounters have been sorted by section based previous encounters as seen above.

Louie

Luck & Health

  • "This good-for-nothing sea has somehow found its way into our cargo hold. There's crabs down there, and lots of 'em."

"You should investigate... alone."

=> You don't find any crabs, but Louie does sneak up behind you and steals some more blood. He's very apologetic this time.
Crewmate's health decreases slightly.
  • "Let us fly closer to that volcano. I yearn to peer into the fiery eye of the world itself!"

That might not be the "eye" of the world, if you know what I mean.

=> Everyone gets sick from exposure to volcanic ash. Great idea, Louie.
Your crew's health decreases significantly.
  • "In retrospect, it was probably foolish of me to challenge you all to an arm wrestling match."

"Maybe next time we'll just play Old Maid."

=> Louie incapacitates the crew.
Your crew's health decreases significantly.
You lose # hours of travel.


Food & Loot

  • "My superior sense of smell allowed me to hone in on a cache of food buried in the forest below."

"It also makes me wish you tended to your toilette more diligently."

=> Louie finds a pack of all-beef hot dogs buried under a log.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
  • "My hunger can no longer be contained."

"I must feed."

=> Louie manages to eat like 8 double cheeseburgers.
You lose ## lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.
  • "In order to protect you from yourselves, I went through your food stores and threw out anything that looked too sugary or fattening."
=> You lose ## lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.
  • "The forests are filled with treasure."

"You just need to know where to look."

=> Louie effortlessly moves a large boulder to reveal several cases of loot jutting out of the ground.
You gain ## loot.
  • "You were too busy piloting the ship to notice, but I totally jumped to one of those nearby islands and found some useful treasure."
=> You gain ## loot.
  • "I'm afraid I used some of your loot to purchase a new cape. I think we can all agree it was a wise investment."
=> You lose ## loot.


Speed & Time

  • "I tire of this heat."

"Let's say we work faster, or I start biting people?"

=> Louie's threat pays off.
Your ship's speed increases slightly. It will take you less time to cover the same distance.
  • "I may have inadvertently steered us into a raging tempest."

"Brace for impact!"

=> Your speed slows as the crew struggles to survive the storm.
Your ship's speed decreases significantly. It will take you a lot more time to cover the same distance.
  • "You should probably attend to the engine room. There's oil spraying everywhere."

"It's quite disgusting, really."

=> You manage to temporarily fix the oil leak, but your ship speed decreases.
Your ship's speed decreases significantly. It will take you a lot more time to cover the same distance.
  • "We vampires have a preternatural understanding of the stars above. Navigation thus comes easy to us."

"So does knitting, but that's another story."

=> Louie grabs the steering wheel and makes a few minor course corrections.
You save # hours of travel.
  • "I fear my bad navigation may have cost us a whole day. But you will not remember me telling you this."

"You will remember me telling you we gained hours because I am such a great guide."

=> According to Louie, who has a dreamy voice and enchanting eyes, you gained hours of progress! Wow, what a great guide!
You save # hours of travel.
  • "Someone snuck aboard our ship and tampered with my blood supply."

"This is Edmund's work... I know it in my cold dead heart. Ugh... TOILET, NOW!"

=> You have to spend all your time dealing with the horrific consequences of Louie's explosive vampire diarrhea.
You lose # hours of travel.


Ammo & Creature

  • "I sense a great deal of death in the area."

"We'd be fools not to investigate."

=> Louie leads the crew to a mass grave, where they're able to recover some ammo from the corpses.
You gain # ammo.
  • "I went for a brief swim and scoured some ammo off the ocean floor."

"I might have accidentally kissed a merman while down there, but that's another story."

=> Louie hands you some ammo and immediately retires to his quarters.
You gain # ammo.
  • "While taking count of our ammo reserves, a giant pelican mistook the bullets I had carefully laid out for food and ate them."

"I should have foreseen such a terrible thing."

=> You lost some ammo and helped breed a deadly super pelican.
You lose ## ammo.


Edmund

Luck & Health

  • "I found a golden fish trapped in a net and freed it to bring on board."

"I wanted to study it, but the darn thing slipped out of my fingers."

=> "As it swam away I heard a woman's voice singing the most beautiful song, and felt like things would get better. Strange."
Your luck increases slightly. Good things are now more likely to happen on your journey. Hooray!
  • "I found a ship wrecked in the forest."

"Looked like it caught fire then crashed while the crew was suffering from bubonic plague and flesh-eating beetles."

=> "There was this weird statue in the debris. I'm sure it's not related to their horrific end. I kind of like it."
Your luck decreases slightly. Bad things are now much more likely to happen on your journey. Oh no!
  • "Put a couple drops of this in the punch bowl for a good time." "What? No, it's a vitamin supplement to avoid scurvy."
=>Your crew's health improves slightly.
  • Edmund performs surprise dental surgery on Crewmate, forcibly implanting a set of crystal chompers.

They look sharp, pun intended.

=> As a test, Crewmate consumes a fistful of minerals.
Crewmate's health increases significantly.
  • "Scorpions! Everywhere! AAAAHHH!"

Edmund goes on a scorpion-squashing rampage.

=> Amidst the carnage you find a shred of Louie's coat caught on a nail; apparently this was a prank to him. Crewmate slips on bug guts and falls.
Crewmate's health decreases slightly.
  • "With all this water around us, we'll never have to drink our own urine again. Not that I was."

"Let's enjoy the bounty of the sea with a round of saltwater for everyone."

=> Before you can stop them, Edmund and Crewmate have downed their glasses of cold brine.
Crewmate's health decreases significantly.
  • "I've always wondered what are the effects of altitude on genius."

"Now I know: occasional bursts of uncontrollable rage."

=> Edmund punches Fourth crewmate in the face.
Crewmate's health decreases significantly.


Food & Loot

  • "If you think you can't synthesize food out of thin air, your education must have been lacking."

"As for myself, I know all the tricks."

=> Edmund throws a sparkling dust into the air and some food lands on the ground.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
  • "This robot I just made will do one of two things."

"Who wants to bet it doesn't destroy us all?"

=> Edmund wins the bet: the robot only runs off with some food to trade for new rims.
You lose ## lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.
  • "I found this gadget in my pants."

"I think it's from an old hydroponic experiment."

=> Edmund's strange device is perfect for your mission.
You gain ## loot.


Speed & Time

  • "The bark of this tree can be chewed as a mild stimulant."

"Don't worry, it's not toxic, addictive or illegal."

=> You're initially wary of this substance, but Edmund has allayed your fears.
Your ship's speed increases slightly. It will take you less time to cover the same distance.
  • Edmund spies a ship captained by Louie and decides to prank him.

Edmund quickly brews up a laxative-laced batch of blood to sneak into Louie's food. :=> The cries of bathroom agony fill the air later in the day. The successful prank builds team spirit.
Your ship's speed increases significantly. It will take you a lot less time to cover the same distance.

  • A giant squid attaches itself to the bottom of your ship, threatening to drag down to your doom.

Edmund hacks the squid apart.

=> The remnants of tentacles that remain suckered to your hull slow you down.
Your ship's speed decreases significantly. It will take you a lot more time to cover the same distance.
  • While you are sleeping, Edmund somehow captures a huge sack of grunnies and ties them to your ship.

This should be fun.

=> The grunnies drag you at a break-neck speed through the forest before gnawing their way to freedom.
You save # hours of travel.
  • "I've just distilled an elixir that will double our resistance to disease."

"Everyone take a sip."

=> The elixir reverses the gender of your crewmembers for a day. The first few hours are lost as you explore your bodies.
You lose # hours of travel.
  • "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to get crystal samples of such purity and size."

Text na

=> Edmund stops to gather crystals, delaying your journey.
You lose # hours of travel.


Ammo & Creature

  • Edmund shows you something cool you can do with ammo: shoot it with more ammo.

It's even more fun than it sounds.

=> You waste ammo watching things explode.
You lose # ammo.
  • "They say killing an albatross brings bad luck."

"The quickest way to test that hypothesis is to massacre a flock of them."

=> You convince Edmund that shooting clouds works just as well, thus avoiding a curse that would turn your crew to zombies, but wasting your ammo.
You lose ## ammo.


Diedrich

Luck & Health

  • "Did you know rabbit's feet are considered lucky? Well, the same is true of grunny's feet. Except they're really, really super unlucky, and I have four of them. Bye bye now! Bye!"
=> Your luck decreases slightly. Bad things are now much more likely to happen on your journey. Oh no!
  • "Did you know that all of your bad actions are accounted for and punished by the inscrutable consciousness of the universe? I thought I should tell you about it because I just ate a family of adorable bluebirds."

"Well, see you later!"

=> Diedrich's barbaric act has not gone unnoticed by the universe. Your luck is affected.
Your luck decreases significantly. Bad things are now much more likely to happen on your journey. Oh no!
  • "Did you know we accidentally ran over an old ethnic woman last night and she came up to Crewmate and whispered 'thinner' and now Crewmate keeps losing a bunch of weight and it's worse than it sounds? Uh oh! So I guess I'd better go, so see you later!"
=> Crewmate's health decreases significantly.
  • "Did you know prolonged exposure to grunnies leads to dizziness, heart palpitations and weeping skin lesions? Well, see you later! Bye!"
=> Your crew's health decreases significantly.


Food & Loot

  • "Did you know that you can put a net at the front of the ship and then at the end of the day you can eat all the delicious moths and bees and butterflies that get caught? Yep, so bye!"
=> You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
  • "Bet you guys didn't know you can harvest sap from trees and it's pretty good to eat with a little vinegar and cinnamon!"

"Okay, bye bye! See you guys later. Bye."

=> Following Diedrich's expert advice, you increased your food supply.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
  • "Did you know that you can eat cactuseses? They are full of nutrients and sort of gross-tasting water, just like you and me. Uh huh, bye."

Text na

=> Text na
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
  • "Did you know that seaweed is nature's grapes? Let's all grab a bunch of seaweed and eat it, because it is nature's grapes."

"OK, bye!"

=> Your crew harvests several pounds of smelly, slimy food.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
  • "Did you know that it is possible to make friends with bears? You just need to sing them a popular song and they will love you and want to be near you."

Text na

=> You befriend a number of bears, but their emotional intensity is too offputting. You lose some food bribing them to leave your ship.
You lose ## lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.
  • "Did you know that I used to be employed as a slot machine at Gold Mountain? I got fired for embezzlement."

"OK, bye bye!"

=> Diedrich coughs up a moist ball of loot.
You gain ## loot.
  • "Did you know that due to a series of successful real estate transactions, I have become independently wealthy? Well, the beauty of the forest has inspired me to contribute to this journey. OK, bye!"
=> You gain ## loot.
  • "Did you know that Crewmate sometimes sleepwalks down to the hold and throws fistfuls of loot off the side of the ship? Ha ha, wow, what a thing to do, right?"

"Yeah, so I'll see you later!"

=> You notice some loot is missing.
You lose ## loot.


Speed & Time

  • "Hey! "Did you know you can work faster if you whistle? It's true."

"Well, bye now. See you later!"

=> Your pace increases thanks to Diedrich's invaluable knowledge.
Your ship's speed increases slightly. It will take you less time to cover the same distance.
  • "Did you know that you can lubricate the ship's moving parts by pouring sand in them? It works! Oh me, I swear that it works. And, also, bye!"

Text na

=> Text na
Your ship's speed increases slightly. It will take you less time to cover the same distance.
  • "Did you know that snails have a very unusual way of mating? Here, let me demonstrate with Crewmate. See? That was very weird, right?"

"OK, so I'm going to go now! Bye!"

=> The crew is too grossed out to function at full capacity.
Your ship's speed decreases slightly. It will take you more time to cover the same distance.
  • "Did you know that the closer you are to hot lava, the slower time goes? We could probably take it real, real easy for an afternoon and just relax and get some reading done."

"Oh, and goodbye forever! Bye!"

=> Diedrich's hypothesis proves incorrect. Lose hours you could have spent on dalliance and skylarking.
You lose # hours of travel.
  • "Did you know I forgot to set our alarm clocks and we all slept in for over twenty-four hours? This is a bad problem."

"Anyway, bye bye."

=> Diedrich's mistake has gotten you rather lost.
You lose # hours of travel.
  • "Did you know that more sand we put in the ship, the faster it will go? Get to work, everybody!"

Text na

=> Your crew spends some time arguing over who gets to strangle Diedrich instead of piloting the ship.
You lose # hours of travel.
  • "Did you know-- achoo!-- "Did you know that when grunnies get a cold, it sometimes creates a tear in the fabric of time? Anyway, it's tomorrow now."

"Bye!"

=> You suddenly find yourself way ahead of schedule.
You save # hours of travel.


Ammo & Creature

  • "Did you know I secretly hid a small cache of bullets just in case you got low? Well, I guess you might want them now, so here they are. Bye bye! See you later!"
=> You gain # ammo.
  • "Did you know that I was once diagnosed as a hoarder? It is my secret shame. I have been hoarding bullets for several years, but perhaps you can take them away so I have more room to order useless items from television. Bye!"
=> You gain # ammo.
  • "Did you know your ammo supply is lower than it should be? I think it's because I secretly traded the bullets for some eel jerky at the last stop, but I'm not sure. Anyway, have a nice day! Bye!"
=> You lose # ammo.
  • "Did you know that soaking ammunition in saltwater makes it much deadlier? It's not true, oh me, it's just not true, but I cannot help but to speak in facts. Forgive me."

"Well, bye!"

=> Your crew fails to heed Diedrich's warnings and ruins several boxes of ammo.
You lose ## ammo.
  • "Did you know that at this altitude, bullets become unlimited? I read it somewhere, maybe in a dream, and now it is a fact."

"OK, see you later. Bye."

=> Diedrich's assertion is incorrect. Your crew loses several bullets in a raucous ammo-wasting hootenanny.
You lose ## ammo.


Sam

Luck & Health

  • "Hey, these aren't my boots!"

"I wonder who these belong to?"

=> Sam has found a lucky horse boot.
Your luck increases slightly. Good things are now more likely to happen on your journey. Hooray!
  • "I really needed a replacement gear and suddenly one was right there! It's made of obsidian and stained in blood, but it works."

"I must be really lucky."

=> Sam could not be more wrong about this sinister charm.
Your luck decreases slightly. Bad things are now much more likely to happen on your journey. Oh no!
  • "This heat is killer."

"Good thing I always keep a couple bottles of water around for when I'm sweating under the hood."

=> Sam passes out a refreshing round of ice water, revitalizing your crew.
Your crew's health improves significantly.
  • Sam spends all day working in the engine room, breathing in toxic, mind-bending fumes.

Text na

=> You realize something's wrong when she tries to repair Crewmate with a hammer and pliers.
Crewmate's health decreases sightly.
  • "I don't want to scare anyone, but I might have poured antifreeze into the soup."

"Probably not. But maybe."

=> Crewmate gets violently ill.
Crewmate's health decreases significantly.


Food & Loot

  • Feeling pensive, Sam stares out to sea and throws bread to the sea gulls.

Everybody hurts, sometimes.

=> Sam throws a bunch of bread to the birds, but it does cheer her up.
You lose ## lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.
  • "I was working in the rigging and these birds kept pestering me."

Text na

=> Sam prepares a variation on chicken nuggets for your next meal.
You lose ## lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.
  • Sam convinces the crew to play hide-and-seek with her.

Despite the urgency of your mission, you join in the fun.

=> The frivolous pastime turns serious when Crewmate becomes stuck inside a rusted fridge. Sam notices some valuable components on the fridge.
You gain ## loot.
  • Sam shows your crew how to dive for oysters.

Everyone jumps in the water.

=> The oysters prove inedible, but you find some pearls.
You gain ## loot.
  • "This thing was floating in the water."

"I think I can get it running again with a little elbow grease."

=> After some tinkering, Sam reclaims a valuable artifact.
You gain ## loot.
  • With her gift for solving mechanical problems, Sam realizes the perfect way to reinforce a mother bird's nest she spies from your ship.

She climbs down and weaves some of your loot into a structural weakness.

=> You briefly consider replacing the loot with something not quite so shiny and worth more than the airship costs, but decide you like living.
You lose ## loot.


Speed & Time

  • "Wow, that clearing in the trees looks like a great shortcut!"

"I wonder why it's so open?"

=> A gang of monkeys calling themselves the Good Looking Guys ambushes you in their carefully laid trap. You beat them back but the damage to your ship slows you down.
Your ship's speed decreases slightly. It will take you more time to cover the same distance.
  • "The red wire goes to the...green wire?"

Only one way to find out.

=> A small explosion answers her question. Your ship's speed slows.
Your ship's speed decreases slightly. It will take you more time to cover the same distance.
  • "You know, I think I can make this ship run a lot smoother with just a minor adjustment."

"Funny I didn't think of it 'til now."

=> Sam flips a switch on the engine from "meh" to "better than good," increasing your speed.
Your ship's speed increases significantly. It will take you a lot less time to cover the same distance.
  • "I've never piloted one of these things before."

"Let's see what it can do!"

=> Sam guns it, recklessly careening through the forest but saving you hours of travel.
You save # hours of travel.
  • Sam works on the rigging while Crewmate mops the deck below.

You notice this classic set-up for painful physical comedy too late to stop it.

=> Sam drops her wrench on Crewmate's head, causing massive brain damage. Lose time teaching Crewmate to love again.
You lose # hours of travel.
  • "Ug, bad drivers make me so mad!"

"Like this idiot up here, he's all over the place!"

=> You have to stop and wait while another airship, apparently piloted by Diedrich, weaves all over the sky.
You lose # hours of travel
  • "Whoah. This is the best go-kart terrain I've ever seen."

Text na

=> Sam goes for a long joyride.
You lose # hours of travel.
  • "Have you seen my hacksaw?"

"'Cause I think I might have left it...back...there."

=> Go back to find Sam's hacksaw.
You lose # hours of travel.
  • "I like that ocean spire," Crewmate announces.

"If you like it so much," comes your sneering retort, "why don't you marry it?"

=> Planning the wedding takes a long time.
You lose ## hours of travel.


Ammo & Creature

  • "I finally figured out what that annoying rattling noise was."

"You'll never guess!"

=> "Bullets in the ceiling! Crazy, huh?"
You gain # ammo.
  • "Hey, look over there! A bunch of dolphins!"

"Let's go in for a closer look."

=> On closer inspection, what appeared to be a pod of dolphins is a collection of floating boxes. Inside you find ammo.
You gain ## ammo.
  • "Hey, have you ever seen one of these?"

"It's called a geoduck and it's great to eat."

=> Crewmate misinterprets the situation and shoots the geoduck out of her hand.
You lose # ammo.


Carl

Luck & Health

  • In a rare show of affection, Carl begins rubbing his hindquarters on the crew.

Now you all smell like an elk's hindquarters.

=> With spirits running high, your pace increases.
Your ship's speed increases slightly. It will take you less time to cover the same distance.
Crewmate's health decreases slightly.
  • This time of year is the mating pre-season.

Carl needs to get in shape.

=> He practices head-butting Crewmate in the head and butt.
Crewmate's health decreases significantly.


Food & Loot

  • While stopped for a break, Carl wanders away from the ship.

Trampled leaves and broken branches make him easy enough to follow.

=> Crewmate finds him chowing down on a patch of sassafras. You gather some and add it to your food.
You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
  • A passing fisherman marvels at an elk on an airship.

He seems amused out of all proportion to the event.

=> Having now seen everything, he is happy to give you his worldly wealth of loot.
You gain ## loot.


Speed & Time

  • An angry Carl gets his antlers tangled up in the ship's steering wheel.

Carl hates it when you put steering wheels in his way.

=> Your pace slows as you veer from side to side.
Your ship's speed decreases significantly. It will take you a lot more time to cover the same distance.
  • Carl's antlers get tangled up in the ship's sails and rigging.

He can't help it, he's an elk on an airship!

=> You try to untangle him without getting gored, but it's slow going.
You lose # hours of travel.
  • Carl finds a nest of termites aboard the ship and eats them all, getting sick in the process.

They're coming out one way or the other.

=> Crewmate has no choice but to pump Carl's stomach, a procedure that wastes everyone's time.
You lose # hours of travel.
  • Carl spends a lot of the day menacing your crew, preventing any work from getting done.
=> You lose # hours of travel.


Ammo & Creature

  • After a long night in the crow's nest, you mistake Carl for a useful member of your crew and ask him to watch the deck for a minute.

Carl does not like being mistaken for others.

=> Carl throws a box of ammo overboard.
You lose ## ammo.
  • Carl reveals a hidden talent: the ability to eat bullets.

Carl puts on a talent show for you.

=> Crewmate offers to sift through his leavings and retrieve the bullets, but you wisely intervene.
You lose ## ammo.
  • A hungry Carl accidentally mistakes your ammo supply for food.

Just be glad he didn't mistake anyone for a potential mate.

=> Carl somehow ate some ammo. It also gave him gas.
You lose ## ammo.
  • Carl spies a female bounding gracefully across the forest floor.

She disappears into the brush.

=> He lets out a dark, erotic bellow.


Misc

  • The salt air turns Carl's fur into a tough, sticky mat.

It smells.

=> Carl licks himself profusely.
  • Carl panics when your ship becomes cloaked in thick fog.

He gallops in circles around the deck until he wears himself out.

=> Carl takes a nap.
  • Carl's eyes have started to glow more brightly.

You stay away from Carl.

=> Good choice.
  • Waking suddenly from a nap, Carl is disoriented by the elevation.

Carl does not like being disoriented.

=> Crewmate strokes his neck to sooth him. Carl bites Nick, then remembers what's going on and calms down.

Misc

Crewmate wants to drink it. "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!"

=> Crewmate rapidly devolves into a dinosaur, and then gets better later.
Crewmate's health decreases significantly.

Give it to Guide for safekeeping.

=> Guide keeps it safe for several miles before cannily trading it to some nomads for some emeralds and rubies they have no use for.
You gain ## loot.

  • While scouting ahead, Guide finds an abandoned, rusty mecha suit.

Climb inside and check it out.

=> The suit seems to be non-functional, but there is a usable box of shells under the pilot's seat, apparently for use in emergencies.
You gain ## ammo.

Let Crewmate climb inside and check it out.

=> Crewmate accidentally presses the wrong joystick, and sprays the crew with a barrage of Z-Nega missiles.
Your crew's health decreases significantly.

  • "Did you know that if you find a badger in the woods and wrestle it to the ground before it realizes what's going on, it must lead you to its pot of gold? Oh look, there's a badger right there! Uhhhhh, I gotta go now, bye!"

Tackle the badger.

=> Text na

Back away slowly.

=> Uhhhh, no thanks. Grunnies are allergic to badgers. Or allergic to dying. Definitely one of the two. Anyway, I have non-badger fighting things to do, gotta go, bye!"

Make Diedrich take down the fierce woodland creature.

=> Text na

  • Carl bellows furiously as the sulfuric smoke blanketing the deck gets in his eyes. His eyes begin to glow a dark crimson.

Try to placate Carl.

=> Not one to tolerate your guff, even if your guff is"'not tolerating Carl's guff", Carl gores Crewmate as a show of displeasure.
Your crew's health decreases significantly.

Hide below deck.

=> Given free reign of the ship with no oversight, Carl maliciously spits into every container of food in the pantry.
You lose ## lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.

Threaten to pistolwhip Carl if he doesn't cool it.

=> Vaguely tolerant of your impotent threats, Carl snorts in amusement and walk away.
  • Sensing you might have killed an elk while out hunting. Carl slaughters your entire crew in a fit of rave.
=> Your entire crew dies.

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