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InterviewEdit

Page 1Edit

[NPC] Ron Bruise

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 2:29 pm

I just wanted to say how enthusiastic I am about this opportunity. When I heard they were doing a reading of Stroll, I said, "Yes. This is important. This is me."

[NPC] Chorlie Shane

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 3:11 pm

I'm thrilled. Wow. Big! It's big. Working with Ron. Boy. I'm full throttle stoked. I'm clean, I'm sharp, I'm ready to go. Oh, this bottle? No more liquor for me, bro. This is Chombosco, which is very healthful. It's fermented mummy bile. Natural energy. Not a drug at all, but it's better than huffing a fat rail of lab-grade witchpowder off a big, round--

[NPC] Ron Bruise

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 3:15 pm

Ha! Slow down there, Chorlie. Remember: stay sharp, buddy. We've got a Stroll to dramatize. This is big for all of us. I mean, I have top billing, but it's a contractual thing. I'm the "big star," sure, but no, these guys are great. I'm in competition with no one but myself. I'm not threatened by anyone's talent. Especially not Digiorno's.

[NPC] Digiorno Lee

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 3:19 pm

Thanks, Ron. Oh, wow. That's cool. It's like being with my band. I mean, I love to act, but my first love is music. Yeah, no big deal, I'm in a band. We're called Catbarn, and I play the bass. And, like, some people think of the bassist as a supporting role, but really it's the pulse of the music. Which is sort of where I'm coming from with this project, I guess. I'm with all these talented actors, who are kind of like the guitarist and the vocalist or whatever, and like, but, you know. I'm sort of the bassist, but not in a bad way. Like, I'm up there on stage, with a bass... but instead of that, we're doing a thing about ducks. And I'm the bassist of that duck thing.

[NPC] Chorlie Shane

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 3:23 pm

You said it, bro. We're on this rocketship together, and it's not gonna slow down until it careens into the sun and kills us all. But, you know, in a good way.

[NPC] Digiorno Lee

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 3:27 pm

Oh, but like, there's no actual bass playing in the duck book. That was just a metaphor about how the bass isn't the main instrument or whatever, but it still is like, I'm like, the pulse of the thing.

[NPC] Ron Bruise

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 3:31 pm

Yes. Definitely. Absolutely. We're all the pulse of this thing, together. That's exactly what it's like. We're a rock band, and we come together to form the pulse.

[NPC] Digiorno Lee

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 3:35 pm

No, the bass player is definitely the pulse. You can't have everyone be the pulse.

[NPC] Chorlie Shane

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 3:39 pm

It's like a band, and it's a band with three bass players. I can feel the pulse already. It's in my veins, bro, straining to get out and splatter a swath of crimson drama all over the heavens. Three bass players. Wild, man.

[NPC] Ron Bruise

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 3:43 pm

Ha! Wild, guys. That's just wild. I love this. You guys are great. There's no such thing as a band with three bass players, man. That's just a crazy thing. We have so much fun.

[NPC] Digiorno Lee

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 3:47 pm

Yeah, there's only one bass player. Like, for example, in my band, Catbarn, there's only one bass player. And it's me. Which is why I was saying I'm like the bass player of this project, because I literally play the bass and am a bass player.

[NPC] Ron Bruise

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 3:51 pm

So, essentially, this project has three pulses, and only one of them is the bass player. But the other two guys are also the pulse.

[NPC] Chorlie Shane

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 3:56 pm

Well, like, bro. I think our boy here was saying there's only one pulse, and it's him. Which is, ah, which is. Which is, ah, which is, ah, which is just, which is, ah, which is, this is just, ah, I mean, I don't want to be the BIG BAD GUY HERE but doesn't it SEEM a LITTLE BIT like MAYBE HE'S TRYING TO STEER THIS SHIP? HELLOOOO-oo?

[NPC] Digiorno Lee

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 3:59 pm

Oh, no way, man... I mean, nobody WANTS to be the bass player. I was just trying to make myself feel better.

Page 2Edit

[NPC] Chorlie Shane

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:03 pm

So he says it. So he comes RIGHT OUT and just SAYS IT. He says "I'm the bass player, I'm the pulse of this band." Oh, no it's fine. I'm just glad he comes RIGHT OUT AND SAYS IT. It's fine! We're fine! This is fine!

[NPC] Digiorno Lee

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:07 pm

No, there's the pulse, but like... let's say Ron is the singer, the singer is like the... the melody or whatever.

[NPC] Ron Bruise

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:11 pm

Good. I'm the singer. I like that. You're a nice guy, Digiorno. This works.

[NPC] Chorlie Shane

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:15 pm

So what am I? What am I then, pal? Oh, that's right. That's right. I'm the guitarist. And everyone knows the guitarist is always the biiiiiiig druggie. The big drug man with the guitar. Everyone knows that. "There's Chorlie, he's our guitarist, his eyes are rolling back in his head cause he's dopesmacked out of his box on horseballs." I get it. That's a real funny joke, bro.

[NPC] Digiorno Lee

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:19 pm

No, I mean--

[NPC] Chorlie Shane

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:23 pm

HA HA HA! I SAID IT'S A REAL FUNNY JOKE. Now you're done telling the joke. The joke is over and we had a big laugh. Now it's all done and we're cool, right? So let's just do our $$@#ing jobs, do this Duck project and never speak to each other again, OK?

[NPC] Ron Bruise

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:27 pm

This is a really negative environment here. I think we need to step back and do a quick audit on our emotional timbre, friends. As the singer of this band, I hereby call a band meeting.

[NPC] Digiorno Lee

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:31 pm

Present.

[NPC] Chorlie Shane

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:35 pm

What? Now you're calling bigshot band meetings, huh? Now you're in charge? Now one of you is the pulse and the other one is in charge, and where does that leave Chorlie, the whacked-out druggie guitarist? Joke is over, guys. I'm clean. I'm high on life. I'm also high on mummy bile. If I wanted this kind of drama, I'd surround myself with a harem of grown-up-movie actresses and we'd all snort a huge mountain of face drugs. But I did NOT sign up for that. I signed up for a Duck movie.

[NPC] Ron Bruise

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:39 pm

It's not actually a movie, Chorlie.

[NPC] Chorlie Shane

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:43 pm

What? I thought this was a movie. My agent distinctly said "movie," I think.

[NPC] Digiorno Lee

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:47 pm

I think we're just, like, reading the book. Just quietly reading a book together as friends.

[NPC] Ron Bruise

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:51 pm

We're reading it out loud, Digiorno.

[NPC] Digiorno Lee

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:55 pm

Oh, really? Well, I can't do that. They didn't pay me my speaking fee. I'm only being paid my reading-silently-to-myself fee. But, like, I can move my lips along if you want.

[NPC] Chorlie Shane

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:59 pm

I'm out! No books. I haven't touched a book in over sixteen years, and I'm sure as heck not going to start just because a bunch of hotshots tell me I'm a guitarist. MUMMY BILE, BABY! I'M OUT!

Page 3Edit

[NPC] Digiorno Lee

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 5:03 pm

Well, so like, I guess I can't really do this either.

[NPC] Ron Bruise

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 5:07 pm

That's it! This is over! No band. The band is done. I'm not angry, you guys, but I'm VERY disappointed right now. This band was going to be amazing. Or, not band. Whatever it was. Duck thing.

Now what am I going to do with all this worthless promotional garbage?

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